"The Gift of the Magi"

Before I close my entry for the year 2006, I would like to share this beautiful love story of Jim and Della in O. Henry's "The Gift of the Magi". A very simple love story and yet connotes a very deep meaning....

click here to read the story---"The Gift.."

Have a fruitful and peaceful New Year to all!


Christmas is....

Tutubi said...

Christmas is Love. Love is Jesus. Therefore Christmas is Jesus.

Ann said...

Bakit kaya pag Pasko mas maraming tao ang bumabait? Nagkakasundo yung mga dating may alitan.

Iba talaga ang dating ng Pasko sa bawa't isa..yun yata ang tinatawag na Spirit of Christmas. Hindi natin nakikita pero nararamdaman natin.

ghee said...

ang pasko ay pagkakaisa ng mga puso bilang pagbibigay galang kay Hesus na ating Poon.


*****I say "amen" to the ladies...and so let's make everyday a season of love ,sharing and forgiving...make everyday a Christmastime . Let us also make the celebration a simple one... as we remember the humble beginning of Jesus being borne in the manger. hAPPY bIRTHDAY JESUS! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!!


What is Christmas for you?


The lesson...

"It's not how much you give in what you do but it's how much of your heart that you pour out in all that you do.."

My teaching experience with Chris really taught me a lot. Sometimes it feels like digging a desperate well..and what i do is but a sorry attempt. Out of desperation, it even crossed my mind to better stop this struggle. Though i give my heart in what i do, i still couldn't feel so content with what he can only afford to grasp from what i taught. The shoelacing session was like torture to both of us(he'd really complain)... finding him hardly able to do such a very basic means of independency. The reading session is even tougher...coz his interest on it depends on his mood. It seems to me that the challenge is more than i can only encompass as his tutor. I almost felt quiting.

But not this morning, I'm surprised to hear him able to read some sentences though they're read in broken lines. It's like music to my ears...somehow i feel a sense of fulfillment. Looking back from how we started..from there i see that he has really made a good leap now...even great..this must have been Chris's wonderful gift to me this christmas...realizing all the tough times when it's not only I who endured so patiently but him....and then somehow all those times when I was there for him have already been paid off. Because that's what i promise myself...that he'll learn before i go....

I learned a lot from people. If i were to recap** all that have happened to me during this whole year, and all the people who come and go...i say, thanks to them...to all of you...and that this makes my perspective in life deepen in a way. Because of this, i am now a better person if not best.

Thanks Chris...and thanks to all who became a part of me..i want you all to know that i may appear to be such just a myth in this site...but deep in my heart....i am real....and i will never trade a single moment of knowing you guys.

****It's Chris' birthday on Dec.14...Advance Happy birthday Chris!


Mary's doubtless YES...

In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth. He was sent to a young virgin who was betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the family of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.

The angel came to her and said, "Rejoice, full of grace, the Lord is with you." Mary was troubled at these words, wondering what this greeting could mean.
But the angel said, "Do not fear, Mary, for God has looked kindly on you. You shall conceive and bear a son and you shall call him Jesus. He will be great and shall rightly be called Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the kingdom of David, his ancestor; he will rule over the people of Jacob forever and his reign shall have no end."

Then Mary said to the angel, "How can this be if I am a virgin?" And the angel said to her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore, the holy child to be born shall be called Son of God. Even your relative Elizabeth is expecting a son in her old age, although she was unable to have a child, and she is now in her sixth month. With God nothing is impossible."

Then Mary said, "I am the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done to me as you have said." And the angel left her.

---Luke 1:26-38

*****today is Feast of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary.


When typhoon took it all....

Survivors struggle to salvage pieces of lives, belongings...

BINITAYAN -- Christian Malsi used to admire the orchids and ornamental cactuses his aunt had been growing under the shade of a mango tree on the slopes of the Mayon volcano.

A powerful typhoon last week changed the view forever: his house, like most others in Binitayan, a riverside community in Daraga town in Albay province, was buried up to the roof under the tons of loose black sand and mud unleashed by rains.

Gone too is the mango tree, toppled, leafless, its bark and branches shredded in pieces, like the lives of more than 1,000 people feared dead in landslides that ravaged the region.

Official figures showed 526 dead, 1,000 injured and 740 missing. More than 1 million people in 13 eastern provinces were affected, and about 20,000 have gone to evacuation centers.

"It's all gone," Malsi, a 20-year-old hardware shop bagger, said as he stood on the top of the wall of his living room, where the roof used to be. "We can't live here anymore."

Like many of his neighbors, he, his younger sister, aunt and uncle saved only their lives and some clothes on their backs.

Neighbor Joel Bejo, meanwhile, was digging like a treasure hunter, gingerly removing the sand from around a metal TV stand. He had earlier salvaged his TV and a few clothes. Standing in the middle of a three-meter (10-foot) hole, he was searching for his wife's sewing machine.

The entire article at INQ7.net



Lately,I've been battling with my relationship with my students. I found myself in a situation wherein I have to be even more strong for them. Seeing my young girl student so anxious with her low academic performance, teary-eyed when she could hardly memorize a piece, banging her head and slapping her face believing that her dullness makes her feel stupid. While, my young boy, so confident with his academic perfomance believing that he's always right until we'd heated into an argument. He has become so at ease with his relationship with me that would sometimes lead him to unknowingly show signs of disrespect. And it's tough... For quite some years I have been dealing with children of different personalities... but this has been my first time to have felt less effective in dealing with kids not academically but emotionally. Children nowadays have grown to be defiant and aggressive about almost everything...and it's when we have to be even more understanding for them.

I often hear people say that the most important and even hard things in all forms of relationship are faithfulness and honesty. Well I say,let's include tolerance. But I also say that it's hard...because tolerance includes accepting the most unacceptable characteristics of the one you love. It's when you realize that you have to bear with another person's temper without completely losing your sense of pride as a person. You realize that you can never change the way he/she is according to what's simply comfortable and ideal for you...all because along with loving entails sacrifice, and along with this sacrifice entails genuine feelings for people. We simply don't tolerate people we care for, we impose discipline..but then after all's been said and done..you will go back to the same old rule....i tell you...because you value these people...because you love your wife or husband..because you love your kids...because you love your friends..because you love...you learn to tolerate because that's what loving your relationship with people tells you to.


"I tagged myself ..."tagged by gladz

aba!aba!ang ang batang ire!kinarer na ata ang pagta-tag!hala sige!try natin...,kung di ko lang labs mga batang 'to di ko talaga gagawin to eh...di ko kinaya mga tanong...pang-showbiz akalain mo....

1. Flashing your smile to someone you don’t want to see.`
aba!di ko yata ma-imagine tanong na 'to ah!ang weird ata.. ayaw ko makita eh!
2. Bringing back the feeling you’ve learned to forget. `
mmm...learned to forget na eh, posible pala yun?
3. Showing that you care.
`ay sus!no probs!..
4. Finding a way to mend a broken heart.
tayo lang makakatulong sa sarili natin...cant live forever in an empty hope..but gotta learn to forgive first dun sa nakasakit sayo..para may peace of mind tayo.
5. Learning that you’ve been used by someone you truly love.
hmmm....painful pero, ika nga, mas mabuti ng ikaw ang nasaktan kesa
ikaw ang nakasakit!naks!bait ko!;0
6. saying "i love you” when you mean it and when you don’t
nalito ako ah...mmm...when i mean it, i say it, but not when i dont...tama ba intyende ko?
7. Letting go of a person you’ve just learned to love.`
epppsss...that's the most painful realization in falling in luv.
8. Realizing that you love somebody you’ve just taken for granted.
ako ang na-te-take for granted eh...huhhuhu!;(
9. Realizing that you love the person you’ve just broken up with.
ay sinabi mo pa!!kung may mas sobra pa sa hold on...hold on talaga ako...
pero kung beyond salvation na eh, wala na tayo magagawa nyan!face it na lang...
10. Waiting for promises you know he/she will never keep.
11. Loving someone who loves somebody else.
haayyy...this is pathetic!
12. Reminiscing the good times you shared together.
i do.....
13. Shielding your heart to love somebody.
di mo masasabi eh...kahit itago mo feelings mo, it will still show anyhow.
14. Trying to hide what you really feel.
so far nasasabi ko naman...sa taong mahal ko talaga, para no regret na in the end.
15. Having a commitment w/ someone that you know would not last.`
when you go for a commitment, there are really uncertainties if mag-last nga ba o hindi but then,for two people too in luv, willing kayo to take the risk di ba?
16. Trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes.
many times....its tough...ang sakit sa lalamunan oi!
17. Sharing the one you love w/ someone else.
kung bf mo na yun..ay naku, that's absurdity!
18. Loving a person too much.
guilty me...
19. Giving up someone you never thought of giving up.
haayyy..kakaloka ang mga tanong na'to gladz!i give up na ata ako!;0
20. Falling in love for the first time.
sa isang taong di ko man lang nakita at nahawakan....and i still wonder what mystery lies behind that.
21. Loving someone you haven’t seen.
eto na!at first i was very apprehensive and even cynical bout this thing, i must admit...but when it happened to me...i was ah..er..uh! totoo pala...
22. Having the right love at the wrong time.
` wala atang right love at the wrong time pag puso na ang tumibok..
23. Exerting effort to make the relationship last or work.
i hope i did.....
24. Not being appreciated when you know you’ve given your best.
25. Taking the risk to fall in love again .
when you've learned to move on......
26. Hiding your relationship from someone else.
i'm proud of him...theres no reason to hide.
27. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend.
ayyy oo...
28. Choosing between 2 persons whom you really love.
so far, certain naman ako sa feelings ko for 1 man, kaya di kelangan mamili...
29. Finding out that you can never have the person you just let go of back.
:0(...(gladz babatokan na kita!di ko na kaya to..)
30. Seeing the person you love with someone else.
infidelity it means?mmm....i'll talk to him straight...its hard to let go, but its much harder to remain with the one who already stop loving you...

...there's just one person that i wanna tag...and its razzy!take it girl!;0)


"IT" me!! Tagged by ghee...

How often do you blog?
At least once a week...as much as my mind works.

Online Alias:

Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes...and its a wonderful feeling...they dont know me either but they saw the deed..and that is enough.

What do you do most often when you are bored?
I listen to classical music..i sing with the song...i really love music...it soothes my emotion...and then i get to sleep.

When bathing, which do you wash first?
Oh!let me try notice it tonight...;0

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
nope....though i'm insomiac.
i'd probably be as good as dead if that happen.

What color looks best on you?

What's your favorite alcoholic drink?
bata pa po akoh!;0....bawal daw ang serbesa sabi ng lola!;0
really..i dont drink.

Do you believe in heaven and hell as a real place that each of us will go to after death?
I believe in heaven but i'm not sure about hell...maybe there is hell.

Do you find that you have more online friends than offline friends?
Well, for sure i have more offline friends than online.

What was your favorite subject in school?
English and Philippine Literature

Are you a perfectionist?
No...nobody's perfect.

Do you spend more than you can afford?
i cant afford most often....so how can i spend?!nyahahaha!

Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before?
Of course!We can never buy experience.

Do you consider yourself creative?

Do you give yourself the credit you deserve?
We all deserve that...we dont just exist..we LIVE!

Do you donate time or money to charities?
yes...share your blessings.

Have you recently done something yourself that you've criticized others for doing?
I dont remember any.

What's on your mind right now?
hmmm....i am thinking of replacing GMA in her presidency!;0

Say one nice thing about the person who tagged you .....
ghee..is a wonderful friend..though i only know her online here at blogger but i know she's a true person...she's baliw sometimes esp. with the way she'd joke at me...but i like the friendship that she's offering me..i feel so blessed..thanks ghee!..we rarely find true friends online..but i found a jewel in ghee.

But i guess this time..i wont tag anyone...blangko po talaga utak ko habang
ginagawa ko ito..pasensya na..;0


A bird's-eye-view.....

Medyo maulan nung isang gabi nang pauwi na ako ng bahay mula work. Habang lihim akong naupo sa jipney, siksikan naman ang iba dahil sa hirap makasakay pag maulan ang panahon. Pagdaan ng jipney sa may Ateneo University, isang lalaki in his early teen ang biglang sumakay sa sinasakyan ko. Nakaupo naman sya sa aking harapan kaya nakikita ko bawat galaw nya. May bitbit syang mga makakapal na libro at isang plastik na organizer. I know he is a student of the said university. Gwapo at mukhang galing naman sa isang may kayang pamilya dahil sa kanyang porma...payatot nga lang. Napapansin ko, later on na para bang nahihirapan sya sa dami ng kanyang dala. He looked uncomfortable on his seat. Nang makarating na kami ng medyo kalayuan, para naman syang hindi mapakali sa kanyang pagkakaupo..nahihirapan talaga sya sa dami ng kanyang bitbit.

Hangga't later on, meron ako napupuna sa kakaiba nyang kilos. Isang konklusyon ang nabuo sa isip ko. Medyo kulang sya sa kanyang pag-iisip. In short, he is a special child. But I'm surprised dahil pumapasok sya sa isang normal at malaking unibersidad. I saw him so dedicated with his study. Nakita ko in just one instance na seryoso sya sa kanyang pag-aaral kung paano nya hawak-hawak na pagkaingat-ingat ang makakpal na libro nyang dala. Dun na nabuo ang konklusyon sa isip ko about the young boy nung nagsalita na sya na bababa na sya habang kinakausap ang konduktor. Nang makababa na sya, hinabol ko sya ng tingin, nang biglang may isang kotseng muntik ng bumangga sa kanya sa kanyang pagtawid sa kalsada..hindi ko alam pero kinabahan ako sa pangyayari. Buti na lang at agad nakahinto ang kotse at sya'y pinatawid.

Sa araw-araw kong pagsakay ng jipney, walang sandali na walang kapwa ko pasahero na hindi estudyante. Kadalasan talaga ay mga estudyante ngunit bihira lang ako makakita ng may bitbit na libro. We know how important education is. Pero napapansin ko sa mga kabataan ngayon ay parang kaunti na lang ang nagseseryoso sa kanilang pag-aaral. Madalas ay laman sila ng mga internet cafe at naglalaro lamang kung tutuusin. Pero heto ang isang medyo di normal, na mas nakikitaan ko pa ng interes sa pag-aaral. Kung sanay mas normal ang batang iyon, nasisiguro kong mas malayo pa ang maabot nito. That he is not far from reaching his goal and dream in life.

"Education is what we can only have that no one can take away from us." 'Yan lang ang kayamanan na pwede nating ipagmalaki sa ating mga magulang na nagpapakapagod upang mabigyan tayo ng magandang kinabukasan. Sanay pahalagahan natin ito...katulad ng nakita kong pagpapahalaga ng batang lalaki sa kanyang dalang libro with pride,na kaharap ko sa jipney nung isang gabi.


Truth or Dare?

This is what Jared(my level 3 preschool smartest tutee) and I used to play right after our tutorial session. A game where the kid would himself excitedly spin the pen and if it points at either of us, one will get to do the consequence. And little did i realize that what we do is not just to bring excitement out of the boring hour of our tutorial session but also to know how far can i go and enjoy the game with a six-year-old boy whose main goal of playing the game is not only for us to have fun together but to let me do the consequence often and even choose "truth" instead of "dare" for me. After which he would tell me, "teach, i dare you to buy ice cream stick for me!". Truly, kids are fun to be with even when they go vey self-centered most often.

At some point in our life, we are faced with this kind of instance when we come to ask ourself , will i go for "truth" of for "dare"? If you were to choose your consequence, what would you choose? The truth that might make you sad or happy to have realized?or just to dare act out a thing to play safe? I must admit, even if its only a game with a kid, i also fear that out of his weird imagination, the boy might ask me something i might not be ready for an answer. While if i go for "dare", i can just go run to a nearby store and have him the candy that he's asking for.

Isn't it that as adult, we appear to be actually even more funny than kids?Well, i am. They're outspoken and carefree and we are the reserved ones. Simply because out of it all, we know inside of us that all of the truths about life is more than our only capacity to answer a kid...because he's just a kid, and for now he might not understand if i'll speak more of the truth out of his very own simple curiosity about something. Pero sabi nga, lahat ng bata ay may karapatan to know everything around him. Di nga ba kapag ampon ang isang bata, nahihirapan ang ibang magulang sabihin ang totoo dahil mas natatakot ang magulang for them? Well I am not an adopted child, but what i am trying to assimilate is just the fact that sometimes, we rather want to go with the flow, deal with life's everyday consequences than trying to figure out all the truth that it brings.

Sabi nga ni lojik, hindi naman mahalagang malaman natin lahat ng rason tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay,minsan go ka na lang.. and its true! What matters after all is that even when you feel like you already sink in when things are too much for you to bear, never forget to stay afloat still. After all, you can't go swim alone in the vastness of the acean if nothing sustains you from within. Whatever it is, whether you go for "truth" or "dare"...remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Go..look at the clouds for sometimes out of your hurly-burly busy day, and you'll realize that truly, "you are not alone..".


The passionate shepherd to his love.....

I think of you daily
Visions of our future flash before
I can see the future in the present
And I am thankful that God made you

Our paths crossed
Our souls connected
And our hearts loved

You are to me that which no other can be
The essence of beauty
The personification of loveliness

You are my treasure
That rare find that all men seek
I will love you in every way
With all that is within me
Until God himself calls our name

I Love You...
You are the Love of My Life


The nymph's reply to the shepherd.....

Because of you i feel even more secure,
for what is my heart for without someone to help me give it all.

Because of you i see life even more of reasons to live for,
for what good is one's existence without having one he can call his own.

Because of you i have lots of realization,for what is the mind's imaginings without having able to realize and make them real.

Because of you, i know even more what inner and genuine beauty is,
for what is beautiful is not just seen nor touched but truly felt by the heart.

Now i know what God has promised...and it's all because of YOU!

****** wonderful memories that will be cherished till the end of time....******

.....along with it is a soulful music..... truly a moment that lives on.

Today is my first year in blogger....naks!who would thought na one year na ako in this journey...daghang salamat to all my readers!!!


When can we be like children?

I was reading a news column this morning when a very good article caught my fancy. Let me share to you how it goes....

How can peace be elusive as it is seemingly now when all you hear these days are clarion calls for stable peace to dawn in Mindanao? Towards the end of Ramadan there pervades an aura of reconciliatory vibes and forgiveness. The yearning for peace is felt from east to west and from north to south. Despite all these we ask in desperation, “Why is the search for peace so difficult a task?”

If a ceasefire agreement can be sustained, then why cannot a permanent truce be attained? What does it take for protagonists to yield to the defeaning call of the overwhelming majority for the forces to lay down their arms and silenced these forever? There is so much land to share, so much resources to develop, the seas are so rich with a cornucopia of marine wealth. But the opportunity to make these resources productive is lost in the futile struggle for an independent state that stirs apprehension among those who abhors it. That is why the partnerships and joint ventures among Filipino Muslims, Lumads and Christians is so extremely difficult to attain because the struggle comes in the way to reconciliation, trust, unity and peace.

As if this desperation is not enough, we allow ourselves to be abused by foreign terrorist clones whose agenda is not only to inflict harm to innocent civilians, be they Christians, Muslims or Lumads, but to sow dissention and hatred among them. This ignominy is upon us and yet we allow these small diabolic forces of evil to turn us apart and when given the opportunity, to murder our innocent sons and daughters.

When can we walk the distance from east to west and north to south without fear and apprehension. When can we talk and laugh and share our sorrows and our joys without having to ask what our religious faiths are, our ranks and station in life like children who harbor no hatred but only geniune friendship and love?
( SunStar Davao)


Maligayang Kaarawan mama....

Sixty three ka na....Sabi mo, kapag kinwento mo buhay mo sa "Maalaala-ala Mo Kaya", sigurado, patok!Kasi nga ang dami mong pagsubok napagdaanan sa buhay.Naisip ko naman, kung isusulat ko kwento mo sa tv...sigurado starring kami.Ayoko nga! kasi matigas ang ulo ko...wehehee! Baka puro eksenang galit na nanay ang makikita nila.:0)

Minsan ang sarap maging bata uli. Yung sa iyo lang ako lagi nakabuntot..tapos kapag maysakit o nasugatan, haplos mo'y sapat na. Pero ngayong malaki na ako( kahit papano..hehe!)..i wonder kung nasasaktan ka rin kaya kung mas mahaba oras ko sa labas kesa sa inyo...oo naman!ikaw pa?eh,sensitive ka sa lahat ng bagay. Ewan ko ba kung bakit lumaki akong di mo sinanay na sayo nagsasabi ng lahat ng nararamdaman!Kasi dapat, ang nanay ang unang nakakaalam kung kelan ako una at huling nasaktan lalo na sa pag-ibig!naks naman!

Oh,sya sya....ayoko nang magdrama, baka maluha na naman ako ng wala sa oras.

Basta "happy birthday!"....wag ka mag-alala...lagi mo sinasabi nuon na baka iiwan ka lang namin o di kayay ilagay sa home for the aged pagtanda mo...di mangyayari yun...eto ako oh!...God's living proof na di ka mag-iisa...! Ako pa rin magkukulay ng hair mo... kahit minsan reklamador ako kasi ang hirap tanggalin ang hair dye pag dumikit sa balat! ;0

Salamat sa lahat! Mahal na mahal kita mama!



Have any of you in a situation you think it doesn't deserve on you to befall? And then, at the end of it all, you end up blaming the other side because you feel like you don't deserve the hurt, the losing?

Well, this is mortality. Being human includes feeling incapable of the hurt because we've given our best in ways we thought we just "did" but the outcome was not as plausible as expected. The truth is, we are not ready for any painful acceptance because sometimes reality just hurts. The realization will only come out once we learn to accept things as they are, learn the lessons it bring and then hold on to your goals and dreams....because there's more to life....

Ideally, only selfless love suffice on this truth. But since we are not living in a world of ideals, sometimes we end up with regret why things happen. I've couple of friends in all walks of life come to me and shared their loses. Yes, it's so swift that advices just come right there the moment they want it, but when you're in the same shoe, you realize that no amount of reason seems to justify to ease that emotional turmoil(if i may say).

But then, at the end of it all...as they say that time heals all wound...we'll realize that what we give is just a small amount to what are learned along the way...both parties involve are learning. If you are hurt, just realize that the other person may also be hurting. But if the case is just a one-way traffic... then, what good it is to have better understood that you have made a contribution to another's life...just that is enough...for me.


Laughter is the best medicine....

yesterday, i was hanging around with my two best buddies, gladz and sheng....i say, we had fun together....at first i was serious with my projects that i hope to finish by the end of this month...just imagine when i had to work overnight only to sort things out...it was sooo tiring!... i felt like i almost wanna cry coz some of the details that i was looking for couldn't just be found...i felt like i was completing a puzzle while some of its pieces are still missing!...i say, working and and studying at the same time is not easy...but then the result is still fulfilling...my two friends help me a lot..(oh, we are always there for each other..and we'll sure miss our funny and even sad times together)....their moral support is more than i only expected..thanks ladies!!!;0)

we almost wanna go crazy yesterday...and i swear even gladz'carlo babe was surprised!hehe...can you just imagine when we almost forgot that we have to fill our stomach because t'was already late afternoon and we haven't had prepared any food...(take note: we love to eat!wink!)..at first we had a good chat bout our own personal problems...whew!sheng couldn't help it..she was emotional when she opened up a bit...(it's ok my fren...life's like that!)..and then we shared opinions...but after being serous and emotional for a while...we were still to dance, sing and laugh at things....( geeeezzz..... lipovotan contributed a lot to these two ladies to have such driving energy!)hehehehe!~~~~well, gladz said i could try..but i didn't coz she said it tasted like medicine...yayyykss!i dont like any medicine's taste!)

well, this is life! after all the heartbreaking... and stressful things from realtionship turning sour, pressures from work, tons of project piling...its good that we are still able to smile at life...because life is good...and we all deserve to enjoy it.

after all,they say that life is just 1% that happen to you ...and its 99% on how you react on it.


Two faces of women....

This photo was taken from InQ7 news....Mmm...well captured! An abstract representation of two facets of life.


National issue muna tayo!

Should there be a retake of the Nursing Liscensure Exam?

I would like to quote what the ninth placer of the June, 2006 Nursing Board Examination voiced out that goes, “I’m afraid to take the examination again. I’m afraid, not because I cheated, but because of the high level of anxiety that goes with having to go through it again.There’s tension, especially for me, because I placed ninth in the exam. Let them not take away from me what I and my parents had worked hard for, ”( source taken from InQ7) A sobbering statement by Ms. Claudine Navalta, 21, a graduate of the World Citi Colleges in Quezon City.

Anyone of us placed in the same dilemma could have felt more than what the young lady is fighting for. Such a sad fate! The investigation about the said anomaly will give hope to those who didn’t pass the test but for sure will bring another restlessness for those who took the test fairly and squarely (with all their sweat) and eventually passed. For some, the said examination might just be a chance of luck, but what about those whose struggles were beyond measures?

Yes, the retake will of course bring the issue into clarity. And will make the passers integrity intact. But what frustrations this might have brought to others who have had all their effort once and passed but didn’t make it the second time around? A retake of the exam is of course a retake of another sleepless hours of studying or reviewing.

No personal biases here, but this is just to raise the issue about just what is really fair to all concerns. We are talking here of the future of our young ones. And we raise the issue concerning time, effort and anxieties that will bring even greater effect to the test- takers.

The issue is not something to be put into a heated debate because every crime should have been investigated. But then, I do hope that the ones responsible for the leakage will have more than what it takes to have a guilty concience. I swear! There is never a board examination just so easy to handle. It’s worth one’s dream.


life is really fair ....

Four years ago, nakilala ko si Liz thru our neighbor. Nanilbihan sya bilang katulong sa isang mayaman at kilalang pamilya near our village. Madalas ko lang syang makita nuon sa aming lugar dahil dumadalaw sya sa kanyang kaibigan. Isang simple at mapagkumbabang tao si Liz. Hanggang sa nagkaroon ako ng kaunting parte ng buhay niya. Naghahanap pala sya ng tutor upang kahit papano ay matoto syang mag-inggles dahil meron syang penpal na kano.

Nagkakilala kami ni Liz kahit papano nung mga sandaling andyan ako para turuan sya ng mga simpleng dialogue sa pang-araw-araw na pakikipag-usap sa salitang inggles. Hayskul level lamang si Liz sa kanilang probinsya at nakipagsapalaran dito sa Davao dahil sa hirap ng buhay. Nagulat pa ako dahil we really started in our tutoring session from scratch. Mula sa simpleng prepositional phrase hanggang sa naging translator ako minsan sa tuwing gumagawa sya ng reply letter.

Minsan sa aming pagpapalitan ng ideya, hindi namin naiwasang pag-usapan ang kanyang tunay na katayuan sa kanyang pamamasukan. Nakakalungkot na nagtitiis pala sya sa pangit na pag-uugali ng kanyang mga amo. Hindi ko makalimutan na may sandaling, Liz would narrate to me her experience with teary-eyes. Duon ko naitanong sa sarili ko at maging sa Diyos kung paanong hindi pantay ang buhay at katayuan ng bawat nilalang sa mundo.

"I saw injustice seeing Liz in such a sad dilemma". Ang laiitin, maliitin at pagdamotan ng mga taong akala nila'y madadala nila sa hukay ang kanilang kayamanan at tanyag na pangalan. Pagkalipas ng ilang buwan, Liz was petitioned by her fiancee to US and after few months, na-grant naman ang kanyang visa agad. Pagkatapos ng maraming taon, after hearing that she was doing well in the US with her husband dahil pagdating nya duon ay agad silang nagpakasal, lumipas ang ilang taon na wala na akong naging balita sa kanya.

After 4 years, nabalitaan kong nakauwi na pala sya dito sa Pinas. I found out that her American husband died of a cancer. Infact, nag-usap pa kami ni Liz last week sa telepono, balita nya sakin na dala-dala daw nya ang abo ng kanyang yumaong asawa dahil hiling daw nito bago pumanaw na nais nyang dito sya mahimlay sa ating bansa. Liz sadly narrated to me how much her husband wanted the Philippines and how much she also missed him.

Maganda na ang naging katayuan ni Liz. Nakabili sya ng bahay at lupa dito sa Davao para sa kanyang pamilya at nagtayo ng maliit na negosyo para sa mga magulang nya. Bukas ay babalik na muli si Liz ng Amerika dahil naroon ang kanyang trabaho, bilang caregiver sa isang nursing home( for the old-aged) sa Wisconsin. May naiwan ding pamana mula sa kanyang yumaong asawa at itoy ang kanilang bahay at lupa na plano nyang ipagbili sa kanyang pagbabalik dahil ayaw nyang mabuhay mag-isa sa isang malungkot ngunit puno ng alaala ng kanyang asawa sa bahay na iyon.

Life is truly fair! And we all have our own share of luck if we only persevere and remain humble. And God truly lifts the humble.

Si Liz ay isang simpleng halimbawa na sa kabila ng mga pagsubok na kanyang pinagdaanan nuon ay sinong mag-aakala na isang masaya at masaganang buhay pala ang naghihintay para sa kanya. Ito ang huli nyang linya sakin bago naputol ang aming pag-uusap. "Masaya ako sa aking trabaho sa Amerika, sa katunayan, hinahanap na ako ng isang matandang inaalagaan ko duon dahil nagustuhan nya ang aking serbisyo. Mababait sila sakin duon. Sa ngayon, masaya at kuntento ako dahil kahit papano naiahon ko sa kahirapan ang aking mga magulang".

I wish you luck Liz!Keep the fire burning ...dahil sa iyong tagumpay lihim akong nagbubunyi. Salamat kay Chit na iyong asawa!Alam kong isa syang instrumento upang ang mga taong tulad mo na may mabuting kalooban ay marapat pagpapalain ng nasa Itaas.


A reality check...

Yesterday was sunday. And it's a wonderful feeling to be able to fight against the tempting moment of waking up late since it was holiday. And since the church is just a walking distance from home, i managed to get there first thing on a fine sunday morning. There i was, sitting quietly in one corner waiting for the mass to begin. I felt strange actually. I don't know. It's been a long time since I sat there early in the morning. While i searched for familiar faces, i noticed a wheelchair in front of me. Somehow i got curious who was that fellow sitting there, what i only saw was a lady's hair braided so well. The mass started finally so my attention switched on to the ceremony and forgot about my curiosity. The sermon of the priest in connection with the Gospel reading was all about humility and service to others.

Being a catholic since, it has never been an issue to me what relegion brings the good news best/better. There is no relegion that can transform an individual to a christlike attitude than the one already renewed by pure love to God ,no matter how the teachings in one's church goes. Anyway, i felt good singing and responding to the Eucharistic mass and seemed proud to have been given such a chance to worship and praise from my own will. I felt a sense of fulfillness in my spiritual aspect on that day. And being able to sing with the hymns is a plus. But then, when it's time to say "peace" to the people around me, i felt a little discontent coz very few around me responded and showed a welcoming smile. But who am i to judge their motives anyway?

When it was time to receive the holy communion, i mixed myself in a row with my fellow churchgoer. After then, i went back to my chair only to realize that my curiosity about the lady in a wheelchair was answered. I saw her at last. But very far from what i expected and thought to be a woman in her later years. She's in her early teen years! She could hardly move and her head just facing straight while a tube connected on her nose. A sobbering thought crept on me. And then i realize, out of my weird imagination: Just how many of us at that very moment in complete sense, able to walk, dance,sing and worship God and yet busy for something else than being in church for just an hour! " And then here is a young girl, half- paralyzed, giving me a realization that life is really precious. So while still able to go and worship God by myself without a wheelchair or a cane, i've to grab it.

What a realization! But to get a reality check, seeing the young girl, brings such symbolical meaning in one's christian life. And i hope it's not yet too late for everyone of us.


Stand up for LOve...

There are times I find it hard to sleep at night
We are living through such trouble times
And every child that reaches out
For someone to hold
For one moment
They become my own

And how can I pretend that I don't know
What's going on?
When every second
And every minute
Another soul is gone

And I believe that in my life
I will see
An end to hopelessness
Or giving up
Or suffering

Then we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
And stand up for life
Stand up
And here me sing
Stand up
For love

Im inspired
And hope
For each and everyday
That's how I know that things are going to change
So how can I pretend that I don't know
What's going on?
When every second
And every minute
Another soul is gone

And I believe that in my life
I will see
An end to hopelessness
Or giving up
Or suffering

If we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
And stand up for life
Stand up
For love

And it all starts right here
And it starts right now
One person stand up man!
And the rest will follow
From the forgotten
And From the Unloved

Im gonna sing this song,

And I believe
That in my life
I will see
An end to hopelessness
Or giving up
Or suffering

If we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
And stand up
for life
stand up
and sing
Stand up
For love


what makes the world go round....

what is life without LOVE.....mmm...
..much more to say...we define love differently.


Kumusta KA na?

Medyo ang tagal na nating di nagkausap ah!Yung masinsinan.
Masyado akong immersed sa daily routine ko...
Kahapon,di kita masyadong napansin...late kasi ako nagising.
Nagmamadali na ko papuntang trabaho.
Ayoko kasing mahuli... importante sakin yun.
Pagdating ko sa trabaho, nakalimutan ko basahin mga payo mo.
Masyado kasi akong preoccupied kung paano ko paaandarin utak ko....
..kasi long test ng mga bata nitong buong linggo.
Masyado ako na-busy sa kagagawa ng reviewers ...
...at kahahanap ng facts para sa lesson nila.
Late na kami natapos.
Ayoko kasi na matapos na lang ang session na parang wala pa rin sa focus ang mga bata.
Exhausted ako masyado pag-uwi ko.
Parang nilamon lahat ng lakas ko while i was dealing with my patience.

Pagdating ng weekend, tiyak magmamadali na naman ako nito.
Huli na naman gising ko pagdating ng linggo..
kasi puyat pa mula sa klase nang sabado...
..kaya kelangan ko bumawi ng mahabang tulog.

Lagi na lang akong nagpaplano...
... na magkita at mag-usap tayo nang linggo kinaumagahan.
Pero tinatamad pa rin akong gumising ng napakaaga...
lalo na 'pag walang pasok.

Pero kagabi...habang nakaupo ako sa isang sulok...
..naalala kita...hindi ko napansin..naluha ako.
Wala naman akong mabigat na problema..
..pero bakit ang bigat sa dibdib nang marealized ko
..na bakit lagi Ka huli sa buhay ko!
Pero andyan Ka pa rin!Di Ka pa rin sumusuko sa'kin.
Pasensya Ka na ha?
Araw-araw naman ipinagpasalamat ko kung ano na-eenjoy ko.
Pero pakiramdam ko kulang pa rin...
Kasi nga minsan nakakalimutan Kita.

Susuko Ka rin ba sakin balang araw?
Katulad ng mga taong mahalaga sakin ngunit nasa malayo?
Huwag naman sana!
Baka hindi ko na kayanin....

Sige Papa Jesus...bukas uli...usap tayo katulad kagabi.


Dear Alex,

Kumusta ka na? It's been quite long years na wala ka. Namiss kita. You came into my dream the other night. Tumaba ka...yet you still wear the same smile...with your cute dimples. You haven't changed. You're still as good-looking as ever. I was a bit surprised when i saw you in my dream, it happened to me very seldom. Little did i realize that your birthday is approaching. Nagpapaalala ka pala. Of course you are always in my heart!

It's your birthday today. I know you have a grand celebration there...more than we know. Medyo tanda ka na rin pala but i'm sure you still possess that same handsome look that every girls would have giggled. Have i told you before that "i love you"? Oh no, we're not that vocal..we're not that type of people. Oh, kumusta na buhay diyan? I know you're happy. Namimiss na kita. Ilan birthdays na rin ang lumipas. I wonder what have you been doing lately. I miss the way you would pinch my nose. Some say, i look like you. Naks!flattered naman ako..ang gwapo mo kaya...does it mean that i'm also pretty?hahaha! No, we just have the same nose shape and eyes. Hindi naman kaya ako mukhang lalaki ano! Hayyy, nakakainis! Why do i miss you just now..."only when i can no longer hold you".

Sometimes when i would look at the stars at night...how i wish that you're one of them. So that somehow i could feel signs of you. You know each time i would hug and kiss your three lovely kids...i sometimes feel a sense of hope...hoping you're here..oh how they copy your countenance! Their eyes, nose, eyebrows, lips, dimples, colors and mannerisms are just exactly like yours. Kaya lalong nakakamiss ang original. I love the kids so much! They're half my life. Siguro babatokan mo ako with all that i'm saying here now...kasi you know that i won't get to say these things naman talaga if you're here. I know i've been unfair. Ok..and i'm guilty of that.

Oh,pa'no...i do not have anything to offer you in your birthday talaga...i don't have any material things that you'd be proud to know i own...except for the things abstract like my undying love to the people you love and left behind. And of course with my prayer. I miss you so much... I still get to cry each time i remember you. You never even gave me the idea that the last time i set my eyes on you would be final. Please be the kids' angel.

Happy Birthday Bro! Give my regards to my God there in heaven.

Your little sister,


Agosto: Buwan ng Wika

Sa Pilipinas meron tayong "Buwan ng Wika"...mmm...sa ibang bansa kaya... meron din kaya sila? Sabi ng kaibigan ko, bakit ang ibang bansa por eksampol, ang Korea, di naman sila talaga marunong mag-ingles pero mayaman at maunlad ang bansa nila? Pero bakit nga ba sa Pilipinas ay "big deal" kung marunong ka o hindi mag-ingles? Para bang ikaw na ang pinaka-obsolete na tao sa mundo kung da ka "in". Marami ngang naitutulong ang linggwaheng ingles lalo na kung "competency" ang pag-uusapan, pero yung pagtatawanan mo ang taong di marunong mag-ingles,abah! ibang usapan na ata yan. Teka lang...ang sabi nila...nasa Pilipinas tayo ah. Nakakalito ano?!

Alam nyo naman siguro ang bagong patakaran ngayon sa mga eskwelahan "Speak in English" in school and at home. Ok lang yan. Kelangan ang mga bata hangga't maaga marunong na sila mag-ingles...pero paano kung kano na ang estudyante mo o di kaya'y nasanay na silang gumamit ng salitang ingles? Anong mangyayari sa grado nila sa "Filipino"? Naku po!Di kaya sila nalilito? Kelangan ko ng solusyon...tulong naman dyan!

Akala lang siguro natin nakatira tayo sa isang demokrasyang bansa...pero di lang siguro tayo aware..sa ibang paraan tayo nasasakop....yun bang palihim?Ang sarap din kaya ng pakiramdam na kaya na nating magsalita ng ibang linggwahe,kaya na nating makipagsabayan sa mga taga ibang bansa...magaling ata ang pinoy!..pero di ba tayo nakakatakot na baka isang araw, sakop na rin pala ang Pinas ng ibang bansa? Ah..di naman siguro mangyayari yun. Kadalasan nga di na natin alam kung ano sa tagalog ang isang salita. Kaya humihiram tayo ng lingwahe ng ibang bansa...hindi na rin matatawag na hiram...angkin na talaga natin katulad ng salitang "cake"...ano nga ba sa talagalog ang cake? Di nga ba "keyk" pa rin pero iniba lang natin ang baybay? Naku, mukhang nalalayo ako ah. Kahit kelan talaga liwaliw utak ko!wehehe!

Basta....ok lang matuto ng iba't ibang linggwahe basta huwag lang makalimot sa sariling wika.


"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth."

How many of us are too afraid to express our true feelings? And then, on the later part, we regret why we aren't able to do so..when it's already too late and there's no more chance of letting the person know...

When i was a kid, i didn't know the difference between "showing" what you feel and "saying" what you feel. I wasn't brought up mushy and expressive about my feelings. Seeing life in a big struggle and seeing my parents working very hard to sustain our needs, the showing of affection for one another as family is not our big concern. It didn't matter whether we have time together for a closer relationship, but it did matter, that though my parents were often out for work, there must be something to be set on the table. But when i was already growing up and saw how my cousins show their affetion to their parents by kissing on the cheeks each time their dad are home from work and finding them being able to say too easily what they feel , I started to feel envious and grow questioning why it's just too lousy and hard for me to express the same way to my family. When all i can do is show them importance in some conventional way..when it's not "corny". But i do have regrets...only when five years ago, my brother passed away...that's why the song "i can't cry hard enough" connotes such a deeper meaning on me.

Too many relationships have crambled for one simple reason...romantism drifted into oblivion.

One time, i saw a wedding guest book (dated years ago) already junked by our neighbor. I opened some pages and found meaningful messages of good luck and prayers from relative and friends ,for the success of their marriage. I asked my friend why it was thrown away, and it made me sad a bit when my friend said, "Ev, i tried gave it back for they might have just misplaced it, but the wife said,"what is that book for?we can't pawn it anyway!". I was stammered. For this, i sense one obvious reason t
hat the most challenging stage in every married couple's life is when they've reached "boredom"at the height of their relationship. Could it be possible? But of course! For so many possible reasons, i know one--- the death of a romance.

So when you express your love, I say," don't say you love the person because.....but rather, love the person beyond reasons...a love that not limited by time... a love that's boundless...so that when all that your love can offer would one day be stolen by circumstance or old age(though i hope not!)....you two would still vow to love each for the same reason! Well, it reminds me of the movie"The Notebook". How i love it!"


crab mentality

Last Saturday,napag-usapan namin with my new friends ang tungkol sa crab mentality. Sabi kasi ng isa, sa kanyang eskwelahan na pinagtuturuan, meron syang kasamahan na guro na dalawang masters degree na ang natapos. Then, nagtataka daw sya kung bakit iba ang pakikitungo nito sa kanya ngayon since they're good friends naman from the start. Ito kasi ang ugat kung bakit medyo indifferent yung guro na yun. Binigay kasi ng administration sa friend ko yung load to handle debate and speeches program na dati ay naka-assign sa guro na yun. In short, bitter sya dahil sa mas bata sa kanya at wala pang gaanong attainment like her, naibigay ang program. Well, it's just that nagtiwala naman sa kakayahan ng friend ko ang administration. He tried to talk to the teacher to clear things out with what happen between them but he only received a sour reply. Ang sabi pa sa kanya, "No, no, don't talk to me". Which can be very mean dahil alam naman ng friend ko na wala syang ginagawang masama. Gusto lang nya ibalik ang dati nilang pagkakaibigan.

Crab mentality describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you." The metaphor refers to a pot of crabs in which one tries to escape over the side, but is relent lessly pulled down by the others in the pot(Wikipedia).

It is sad to note that this is very common sa ating mga Filipino. Mahirap nga ba talagang tanggapin na nauungusan tayo ng ibang tao na may mas mababang lamang achievement kaysa sa'tin? I mean, why can't we just be happy for other people? Ang isyung ito ay nakikita di lamang sa ating workplace ngunit maari din itong present within our family tree. I must admit na it even happens to people i thought i already know so well. I've relatives i instinctively sense who are bitter over the fact na mas nakakaangat sa buhay ang iba nyang mga kapatid kaysa sa kanya or say "sa kanila". Nakakalungkot dahil isang pag-uugali na hihila sa'tin pababa instead of aiming for progress for each other. Hindi ko na minsan mafigure-out kung may authenticity nga ba sa kanilang pakikitungo with my family. Anong silbi ng dami ng natapos na educational attainment o degree ng isang tao kung ang pinakasimpleng bagay na damayan ay baliwala lang? Is it really hard to be giving or acknowledge what one has accomplished?
Yun bang "masaya ako para sa'yo" mentality?

I am happy for my friend but i'm sad for his co-teacher who after all, still not learning enough inspite of all her educational attainment.


Just Thank you ....

Thank you for your music...
the melodies in it go rhyming and dancing with my heart.
Thank you for your thoughtful words...
i have it all in my mind to ponder and cherish.
Thank you for your voice...
it's more than a sweet music into my ears.
Thank you for all your shared ideas...
your wisdom echoes down to my soul.
Thank you for your nurturing love...
it keeps me going day by day.

Thank God for all of these...may He truly bless what we just came to know!

***Inspired by tallbaldman..****(naks!todo na'to!;0)


Just when i thought i was ready for an answer....

At this moment in time, i find myself in a situation when things have been hitting hard on me.When i have to say to myself i have to go on than i wish i can just walk out than hold on. When i just have to "move on" than say "i quit"...because in my solitude i know that my only refuge is "faith".

This morning i did my report in class,and i know it was well. My partner who is supposed to share this experience with me was not around for she has to attend to some very important things that time may have actually permit them to happen. And then again, i found myself alone....infront of everybody. That very moment when i wish someone would say, "we can make it ev!", but deep inside to my realization, i was just saying to myself, "you can make it ev!". Our teamwork where i found no team at all because i was put in a situation where i have to pick myself up because the challenge's on the go. But "thank God it's over...i made it through". I've always believed that things do happen for a reason yet sometimes i forget that i don't actually understand and could give meaning as to "how and why?". Things i thought i could just simply answer out of experience but infact the one that i know will not probably answer just why something is happening like this to me this time.

Have you ever been in a situation when there are questions thrown on you that you wish you just couldn't care to answer and wish to be naive because sometimes it's just too painful once you begin to realize? It happened to me when i least expect it...

One time, my best friend asked me about how she was going to answer her 5-year-old son asking," Mommy, what is the baby doing in her mommy's tummy?". At first i found it funny for how could my friend asked it on me. She said she was showing her son a picture of a pregnant woman and then to her surprised the boy started to ask. She and her husband couldn't find a very simple way of explaining the idea to their son. It was a bit suprising to them in fact, because they have the idea yet they could not find basic words that the kid could understand. Maybe for some reasons that as adult, we have to have sometimes an impulse to very simplistic on things. Though our reasoning and profound idea may be very well exact to explain a certain thing, sometimes we forget that in life, there are instances that may put us at a certain climax where things have to be simplified than make it even complex and complicated.

Just as we have millions of definition about "love" but once we get caught in a situation where we thought we verily know because our experiences tell us to, we may still end up to realizing that we could not just simply give meaning and reason as to why it's happening and we begin to ask ouselves "where did my reasoning go?". Because every experience is actually different from the one we've just went through.Because everyday is a unique experience. We may define well what we've got to do with our daily routine, but the fact remain that the surprises it brings is a lot harder sometimes to just imagine.

I was in my concentration of giving instruction to Chris bout our new lesson when out of the blue he asked, "teacher, why do tears fall from our eyes?". I was tounge-tied. I know why an innocent one would just like to know the scientific explanation why it is so, but then somehow i wish i could just tell him too that i am just hurting and that's actually my reason for now why tears fall from my eyes.


Quotable quotes.....

"Winning horse doesn't know why it runs in race..it runs because of beats and pains. Life is a race; God is your rider.So if you aRE in pain,then think God wants you to win."

"If the sun shines in your soul, does it matter if it rains outside?Happiness within overlooks the sadness that any event may bring."

"Life comes just once so let's make the most out of it. God didn't give us everything to enjoy life but He gave us LIFE to enjoy everything."

"Sometimes God gives us an orange when we asked for an apple because He knows that the season won't give us the sweetest one..EVERYTHING is beautiful in its own time."

***how wonderful life can be coz we are gifted with such wisdom!...now the choice is ours...should we just LIKE the quotes..or LIVE with these quotes?****



Kung titingnan mo... ito'y mula lamang sa mga tagpi-tagping papel na inukit at binuo ng isang pangarap...isang pangarap na sana'y sabay kayo habang tahimik nyang dinama ang hangin sa himpapawid...ngunit napapagod din ang mga kamay sa kanyang pagpapalipad...dahil hindi pala sa lahat ng panahon..nakikiayon ang hangin upang masaya lagi ang mga buntot at pakpak ng isang munting saranggolang binuo ng isang nangangarap...kung di man bagyo o ulan ang pwede nitong sagupain...isang mapait na katotohanan na ang saranggola kahit hawak mo upang di bumaba mula sa ibayo, hinangad din pala nito na sana ang kanyang kalayaan ay maging ganap..maaring hinangad din nito ang maging ibon....malayang nakakalipad...dahil yun ang mas nakakabuti...dahil doon sya mas masaya.

..... bukas paggising ko upang buksan ang panibagong araw...ako'y malaya na...dahil tuluyan ko na pinakawalan ang saranggolang marahil nais na ding makawala. Pagod na akong makiramdam. Pagod na ako sa mga positibong bagay na lihim kong binuo sa isip ko na baka may pangarap na naghihintay para sa aming dalawa...kelangan ko nang palitan ang isang "butas na saranggola".

(at nagsenti daw akoh!!na di alam anong nais iparating dito!hehee, kasi naman kahapon.....di bali na lang!kagabi ko pa pinakikinggan kanta ng Shamrock na "alipin"..ang lupeet!)


She was just a girl...

"The taming Of the Shrew"..this is one of the comic works of William Shakespeare. But to call my subject "Shrewd" is such an understatement. For me, she's just a girl already learning from experience. I say, "the tamed now being shrewd."

Five years back when i last saw the innnocence in her. She was only 15 then, so young and naive from experience. But she's a different person now. A lot different from whom i've known way back. She has become vibrant, outspoken, and already grown wild. At first, I could not recognize her. Her lips reddish, eyebrows shaven, eyes filled with intensifying color that bring out the soul in her...dressed up like a model. And i must say, she has learned from experience. She looks just like the one i see in magazines grown to be a woman i could have compared to a lioness...unafraid of what lies ahead.

But what fills me with much astonishment is when i find her in a very intriguing character, far from the girl that i once knew. I see her, I have witnessed her dilemma. Getting home from the nightlife activity, walking in zigzag till the wee hour of dawn.. drunk! I'm surprised...i have reached my adult life though encountered being home at dawn but never tried being at our doorstep drunk. Oh!that would be very unfair to compare myself to her. For me she's still a young girl. She should have been sent to school at her age..BUT.

They moved to Manila back in 2001 hoping to find better living. Her parents sent her to the realm of the Japanese at a very young age. She's pretty. She's got all the chance to get there. They faked her document to get an entrance to that place they thought that would save them from poverty. After twice of being sent there, their family realized that everything was temporal. But not her innnocence. Their little girl is already learning from experience. After five years of staying in Manila, they moved back here in Davao. They could not bear the cost of living in Manila. The poor turning into the poorest, rich to richest, frustrated to most frustrated, wild to most wild, wise to wisest...all down to the superlative level. But who's to blame? I'll hold my comment at that. Life is mysterious and full of challenge.

Now i know she's still filled with much questions in her life. Her "guide" as she grown to be a lady seemed to have led her the other way...not that she deserves to have. Well, it would be too blunt for me to say that i put all the blame to the parents. But there's no other way to make it more politically correct. But i know she's not yet totally ruined...she just need a strong grip from what is life...a life that is beautiful for a beautiful person in her just dreaming that she could help save her family from drowning in poverty.

( The girl i m referring is now 20 yrs. old...the same blood runs from our veins coz she is my cousin..)


Isang kwento....mula kay Dyosa..napunta kay ghee at ngayon ay sa akin naman naipasa....

1. Nagsulat si Dyosa ng isang kwento,galing sa fairyland nya,nakarating sa bansang Hapon kay Ghee.Tapos naglakbay sa Pilipinas....Si Ghee ay nag tag(kasama na ko).
2. itutuloy ko at kailangang hindi isulat ang naunang kwento.
3. mag-tag ng iba pang bloggers para madugtungan ang kwento.
4. sa mga na-tag, dudugtungan ang kwento base lamang sa sinulat ng nag-tag sa kanila.
5. bawal hanapin at basahin ang mga naunang kwento.

Ang ita tag ko na magtutuloy ng kwento ay isa lang,si TUTUBING KARAYOM, ang aking mahal na kaibigan.

Ang katapusan ay sa ika sampung(10)tag..ano kaya ang magiging wakas??
Ok,katuwaan lang...


Bago ako nakapagpasya ng tuluyan sa aking balak, muli kong binalikan ang isang alaala kung saan kapwa nami dinama. Natagpuan ko ang sarili ko sa tabing-dagat. Habang nakatingin ako sa bawat dampi ng alon sa aking mga paa, binabalikan ko sa aking imahinasyon ang lahat sa amin sa pook na ito....na ang tangi lang naming saksi ay ang alon. Hindi ko napansin,isang butil ng luha na pala ang aking pinakawalan. Ah!Kung hindi lang ako nagdesisyon ....baka sana'y kasama ko pa sya ngayon! Bigla bumilis ang pintig ng aking puso. Hahanapin ko sya....at buo na ang desisyon ko. Pupuntahan ko sya.

Sabado ng madaling araw ng marating ko ang lugar. Malayo-layo rin pala ang aking biyahe at ako'y nakatulog. Nagising ako ng isang tinig..."Miss, di ka ba bababa?Andito na tayo!". Isang gwapong konduktor ang bumungad sa'kin. Mmmm..kahawig niya si Kneeko ah!hahahahha!(babatokan ako ng girlpren nito!wahhhh!).

Nasa terminal ako ng makaramdam ako ng gutom habang tinatantiya ko kung saan ang aking tungo. Hahanapin ko sya. Ito ang paulit-ulit na sinasambit ng aking puso at isipan. Tiningnan ko ang perang natitira saking pitaka. Kasya pa ito! Ngunit sa lakas ng aking tensyon at excitement, kinalimutan ko ang gutom pansamantala. Pumara muli ako ng masasakyan papunta sa kanila.

Sa wakas..andito na rin ako! Isang pulang gate ang nakaawang ang aking nakita sa di kalayuan mula sa aking binabaan. Isang lalaki na may makisig na tindig ang aking nakita palabas ng gate. Pamilyar siya...ah...siya nga!Siya ang lalaking matagal ko nang gustong makasama at mayakap. Napangiti ako at nakakita ng pag-asa. Humakbang ako papalapit..matamis ang aking ngiti... ng biglang.... may isang babaeng may akay na batang lalaki ang lumabas rin ng gate at lumapit sa kanya. Hinalikan nya sa noo ang batang hawak nito at pagkapos naman ay hinalikan sa labi ang babae. Natigilan ako.


(TK..kaw na bahala dito..wahhh ayoko na!masyado akong nacarried-away...ang hirap mag-emote ha!)

Technicalities of Captivation....

Written in Ohio by a very Special Person...

We met in the surreal confines of the cyberworld. I needed her, and I think she needed me. The immediacy of my captivation provoked unknown consternation. Her picture evoked rejuvenation. Rejuvenation of the hopes thought to have been long dissipated. There was something special about her. She was coy, guarded and the antithesis of loquacious. It was as if she learned from experience that she must become the guardian of her own heart. I have not earned anything. I am now,however and shall remain consistent. I found her in a place where I never dreamed I would look and where she never dreamed she would be. It is as if the cosmic forces of the One we both know are orchestrating the music to a new song. Not a fly-by -night song that only sounds good when you first hear it, but insteadthe classic that stands the test of time and criticism. I am not certain that anyone can feel me other than the one person who should. I am forevermore capitivated.

Thanks for this Art!!You are a great poet.


My worn-out umbrella...

I and my two buddies went off from our work yesterday a little late. While walking out under the bleak cloud and the rain downpouring, each of us compared the umbrella we were holding. One said," Ev, look at my umbrella, it has loose thread!". The other said, ' she can't comment coz hers is just new". And i said, " Mine is worn-out, with almost all parts are crooked and not at all in shape but i love this umbrella inspite! The happy faces painted on my umbrella seem telling me that it's alright!"

I long wanted to buy a new one to replace this worn-out umbrella, but each time i would begin to recall how much i went through being trapped by the heavy rain, i realize that this umbrella has stood with me and that we two have weathered the test of time.

But my story goes deeper than what i wanted to emphasize about my used umbrella. Beyond my realm of living, a worn-out umbrella has its true meaning. There was one time that i even forgot to bring it while i was caught by a heavy rain, i began to realize its importance and started missing it in my life in that instance. Having my worn-out umbrella was like having Jesus in my life. I know that there'd be couple of times when He was just there in my package that i forgot to give importance. And then when time come that i am challenged again with my daily struggle in life, how come it would amount that i only ended up looking for nothing else but Him. But there was no complain. Each time i would look at His reflection, he just seemed so happy and content while i am under His shed. Like the happy faces that are painted in my worn-out umbrella. How ashamed i have been at times over that realization!

I remember one book that i came across with and read one page that goes.." the problem with you is that when your life goes well, you think you're the only one in charge, but when you're sick and things in your life don't go well, you think you're not in charge! BUT I.."....from Jesus. The line hit me.

Do take time to notice who gave us what we are enjoying today...coz i am not even capable of telling you as my reader that this wisdom is mine BUT from Him....these are all borrowed..to HIM sole...thank God for this gift!


Tagged by Razzy...

*What were you doing 10 years ago?
mmmm....di ko na maalala ah!nakupoh...may memory gap ako!!;)
...i was still a student that time...fell in love with the editor-n-chief of our school paper!ngek

* What were you doing 1 year ago?
just work..at pumunta sa mga bahay ng mga pinsan at mag-ingay!hehe

* Five snacks you enjoy:
1. chicharon
2. manggang hilaw(snack ba to?)
3. saging
4. boy bawang
5. lahat ng pwede kainin!;)

* Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
hala!ala ata ako kabisado na lyrics ......
...basta when i sing, it doesnt matter kung memoryado ko as long as i like the meaning of each line yun na kinakanta ko na!kaya di ako pwede sumali ng singing contest, baka matalo lang dahil sa di kabisado ang kanta..hehe. Nung nag-choir ako, dami ako alam na lyrics pero di na ngayon.

* Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Pay all the bills.
2. Build a simple house.
3. Build a charity home for the unwanted children.
4. Build a business for my parents.
5. I'll send my poor relatives to school.

* Five bad habits
1. Waking up late.
2. Get depressed easily.
3. Daydreaming (in short tumunganga!)
4. Submit a project when it's due time already the next day!
5. Changeable mind.

* Five things you like doing:
1. play with my dog
2. just write
3. staring from nowhere
4. listen to love songs
5. sing

* Five things you would never wear again:
1. wristwatch
2. sandals with high heels
3. shirt na maraming kaparehas(like razzy)
4. make-up (unless needed)
5. mahabang hikaw(like razzy)

* Five favorite toys:
1. barbie doll(of which i didn't enjoy to have when i was a kid).
2. brick game
3. kite
4. stuff toys
5. bangkang papel


An open letter to Christopher....

Two years back when you were introduced to me. I could not forget your first line.."you're shy..." I smiled at you and you said "hi". Our first lesson started from scratch. I found it hard at first...the thing i wasn't used to be. I could not measure the patience i have to bear. But along the way i've found you already a part of me. There are times when i wanted to say.."i quit!". But each time i would look at your innocent countenance makes me realize there's more for you to know and learn. And then maybe there's more that i can offer.

I understand how hard it is for you when at times i had to teach you some things that normal kids know. You'd always complain. And when times I had to raise my voice to get your attention.When it's just too hard for you to sit down. It must be hard I know. But you deserve to realize what every child has to. Each time I would start the day dealing with you, i could not help but wish that one day, you will have a lot know before i go.

If only you could read what's in my mind and in my heart...my love and concern for you is pure Chris. My heart woul leap a bit when you already learned what i imparted. It makes my day complete. Know that what made me the best mentor in the world is by just having you. You know it breaks my heart to see you so limited in your abitity to learn. But what can I do? I am only a human being trying hard to be the best in what i can just offer. Sometimes it feels pathetic for me. Sometimes I would question the real Giver of life why I had to be with you and deal with you patiently when I can be with the normal rest...when i could choose the easiest.

My heart would sink at times Chris. When it had to be tough for you to learn what's basic. There are quite moments when I had to get inside the comfort room in the middle of our discussion because I wanted to cry...I wanted to shout to ease the tension. I always want to reserve every little patience that's left in me for you. Because you matter to me...I saw you almost giving up this morning. You'd always say "it's hard"...but I'd still insist on you that you can do it. We have build a wonderful friendship Chris that not even money can buy. And I want you know that. Your prayer everytime we begin seems like the most wonderful one that i could imagine. And it's when what you can just ask God by simply saying "thank you for everything..". And then i feel good to have shared with you at least what faith is.

Hang on Chris...I know you still have a lot to go!

teacher Ev


The father in him....

..just sometimes wondering what is it in his voice that brings so much authority..is it because he's a father?or just maybe because even if he talks very little...his words bring such might to his kids....

"Father & Son"

It's not time to make a change
Just relax, take it easy
You're still young, that's your fault
There's so much you have to know
Find a girl, settle down
If you want you can marry
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy

I was once like you are now
and I know that it's not easy
To be calm when you've found something going on
But take your time, think a lot
Why, think of everything you've got
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not

How can I try to explain, when I do he turns away again
It's always been the same, same old story
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away
I know I have to go

It's not time to make a change
Just sit down, take it slowly
You're still young, that's your fault
There's so much you have to go through
Find a girl, settle down
if you want you can marry
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy

All the times that I cried
keeping all the things I knew inside
It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it
If they were right, I'd agree
but it's them you know not me
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away
I know I have to go

~~~happy father's day papa!~~~and to all fathers!


memory lane(part 2).....

Nang pumasok ako ng klase, ewan ko lang kung napraning ako sa naging katayuan ng shoes ko at di na ko nakapagconcentrate...natakot ako na baka tawagin ako ng prof namin at papuntahin sa gitna..syempre kelangan ko maglakad papuntang harapan!Basta ang alam ko, gusto kong bilisan ang takbo ng orasan para matapos na ang araw na yun at makauwi na ko.Di ko alam kung matatawa ako o maiiyak tuwing naalala ko buhay ko bilang working student.

Natapos ang contract ko as working student sa isang di magandang insidente. Hindi ako naka-duty ng araw na yun dahil may exam ako na nataon naman sa oras ng shifting ko. Nagpaalam ako syempre at nagbilin sa isa kong kasama na working student din na sya na muna bahala sa library habang ala ako. Nag-usap kami ng maayos a day before, pero naaksidente ang kasamahan ko with her boyfriend sakay ang motosiklo. Wala akong kaalam-alam sa nangyari nung una. Kaya hindi sya nakaduty at walang staff na nagbabantay sa library. Nagulat na lang ako kinabukasan nang kausapin ako ng head namin na tapos na daw contract namin as working students dahil sa nangyari,dahil napabayaan raw namin ang aming mga trabaho.In short, nadamay ako sa nangyari sa kaibigan ko. Gusto ko sanang magpaliwanag sa totoong dahilan pero nagdesisyon sila without trying to get our side. Akala ko, lahat ng professionals, professional din mag-isip...mali yata ako sa taas ng tingin ko sa management. Kaya umuwi na lang ako at sinabi sa nanay ko nangyari. Ok naman yung friend ko na staff din at nagsorry naman sya sakin sa nangyari. Of course naiintindihan ko, aksidente yun eh. It just happened that our bosses are not that considerate or broadminded.

Umiyak ako after i told my mother bout it. Natakot kasi ako na baka hindi ko na maitutuloy ang kurso ko. Pero sabi ng nanay ko, igagapang nila ni tatay pag-aaral naming magkakapatid. Lalo akong nalungkot dahil alam kong mahihirapan sila sa mahal ng tuition sa college. Kaya i pursued my study. Para din akong kumuha ng kursong engineering nun, five years ko kasi natapos kurso ko sa college of Arts. Di makapag summer classes o full load dahil di sapat ang pera. Nasubukan ko pa nga mag promissorry note at di pinagbigyan ng madre. Akalain mong sabihin pa sakin na bakit pa daw ako nag-aral kung di naman kaya!?Nang lumabas ako ng ofis nya, gusto ko syang isumpa sa pagiging madre nya!hehehe..sumasama na ugali ko ng time na yun ah! Ang sakit naman kasi ng sinabi nya, para syang di nagsilbi sa Diyos.

Sa awa ng Diyos natapos ko rin kurso ko. Hayyy sa wakas, graduate na ko!!!Naluha ako after I got my diploma! Hindi ko kasi expected na nakatuntong ako ng stage...hehehe..ang drama noh!ang corny!;)

When I finished college, ang tagal ko rin nakahanap ng trabaho. Pero sabi nga nila, pag may tiyaga, may nilaga! Nagkaroon din naman ako ng desenting trabaho kalaunan.Sa dami ng pictures at resume na naipamahagi ko sa mga inaplayan ko(na nagmukha akong wanted!) sa wakas meron din nakapansin!:0)

Ngayon iba na namanng hamon haharapin ko. Panibagong yugto, panibangong responsibilidad. Hindi man matapos- tapos ang pagsubok, maybe this time pinatibay na rin ako ng panahon. Mahina pa rin deep inside, sumusuko pa rin minsan pag di na kaya...pero isa lang pinanghahawakan ko..maaring nating lahat...and it's our FAITH!

And yes...life is a JOURNEY..


memory lane..

When i was younger, i thought life was easier...na napakadali lang mangarap. Mula ng tumuntong ako ng koleheyo bilang working student mula first year hanggang second year college..pakiramdam ko ang hirap-hirap pala talaga ng buhay.

I worked as an assitant librarian. Nagkataon naman na nagkaroon ako ng masungit na boss. Umaga pa lang ubos na energy ko sa library. At sinalo ko na lahat ng alikabok dahil kahit nakasuot ako ng uniporme kong puting-puti, ay hindi na ito kulay puti pagpasok ko ng college building. Naroon pa yung halos gawin akong janitress sa may library building ng boss ko at pinag-mop ako sa labas ng library sa halos buong floor ng second level...i will never forget that scene....mangiyak-ngiyak pa ko habang ginagawa ko yun...akala ko assistant librarian ako dun..multi-tasking pala ako..huhuhu!Pero ok lang, kaya ko 'to. Pero ang pinaka-masaklap ko na experience sa sungit kong bossing ay nung may nawala akong resibo at pinahalungkat talaga nya sa'kin ang tambak na basura..ngilid na ang luha ko nung time na yun...tiniis ang masangsang na amoy ng basura...puno na ng pawis buo kong katawan mahanap lang ang lintek na resibo na yun...only to find out in the end..nung mahanap ko na at iniabot sa kanya ...ay di na pala nya kelangan dahil di naman pala mahalaga!Umiyak talaga ako pagkatapos ng duty ko!Gusto ko syang murahin pero hindi ko kaya dahil di naman ako likas na masamang tao...niluha ko lahat!Ang saklap! Bawat oras na kasama ko ang sungit kong amo ay parang ang liit ng tingin ko sa sarili ko.

Ubos ang energy level ko pagkatapos ng duty. Pero kelangan ko pang mag-aral ng leksyon ko. Sa awa ng Diyos kahit kunti lang oras ko para mag-aral ay nagawa ko namang ipasa lahat ng subjects ko nun. Wala akong masyadong kakilala sa college building. Trabaho-eskwela-bahay ang rota ko. Kapag may bakanting oras naman ay kelangan magkulong sa library dahil wala akong sariling libro. Daig ko pa si Darna nung time na yun. But I want to finish college. Ang hirap maging working student dahil nagkaroon ako ng masungit na boss. Kaya ko sana tiisin ang pagod. Pero ang makasama ang isang tigre sa habang nasa gitna ng laban..yun ang nagpapahirap sakin.

Alala ko din, dahil nga naman sa hirap ng buhay namin, kelangan kong pagtiyagaan ang bawat sentimo na kaya lang iabot ng nanay ko na kinita naman nya sa pananahi at minsan mas malaki pag may malaking kinita si tatay ko sa trabaho. Alam mo yung pakiramdam na kelangan wag mahulog ang piso sa bulsa ko dahil baka di ako makauwi pagkat kulang na pamasahe ko!huhuhu! Kala ko nag-iisa lang ako nung time na yun! Meron pa akong ala-mentos na karanasan dahil itong mumurahin kong sapatos ay biglang bumigay ang isang heel!Ilang minuto na lang ay magsisimula na ang klase!At ang naisip ng darna? Bumili ako ng bubble gum...mabilisan kong nginuya na daig pang isang kambing at inilapat sa bumibigay ko nang heel!And slowly walked down the aisle dahil baka mapalpak!

(..itutuloy...)ang part two sa next blog ko naH..andito nanay ko..nag-aabang at nagyaya nang umalis kami..till next time!hehehe


Hospital Bed...

Nagpunta ako hospital kahapon after work...dinalaw ko ang lola ko na maysakit.Naalala ko pa nung una....ayaw ko talaga ng amoy ng hospital. Kaya nga di talaga ako pwede kumuha ng medical course. Ewan ko ba, pero naalala ko sabi ng bestfriend ko nuong college. Ang pinaka di nya makakaya sa ospital ay ang marinig ang mga ungol at daing ng mga naroon. Same thing with me, nakakapanghihina lang kasi makawitness ng mga ganyang katayuan. At tsaka, takot ako sa injection! Kapag nasa ospital ako feeling ko katapusan ko na. Kaya nuong nagkasakit ako nang dalawang linggo, di talaga ako pumayag dalhin ng nanay ko sa ospital. At nung natakot na nanay ko, hinila nya na ako pasakay ng taxi, aba!di pa kami nakarating ng ospital bigla akong gumaling! Ewan ko lang kung nagkunwari akong magaling na nung time na yun, pero totoo talaga di kami natuloy. Uwi na lang kami.

Kagabi, matagal din akong nagbantay sa lola ko..minatyagan ko bawat galaw nya sa hospital bed. Paglipas ng ilang minuto ay bigla syang dadaing na kung anong may masakit sa katawan nya. I felt the sting of rationality during that time. Isang realization that we're only human...where nobody is excempted. Lalo na pag health na pag-uusapan. Totoong-totoo nga ang kasabihang "health is wealth".

Bigla ko tuloy naisip sa pagtulog ko ang mga eskenang nakita ko sa ospital. Naalala ko when my brother passed away at a younger age. Laking pagsisisi ko nuon dahil di ko sya nadalaw sa ospital. Kaya ngayon, kahit ayoko pumasok ng ganyang lugar kelangan may oras ako sa mga taong mahalaga sakin. Ayoko ng magsisi pa. Di mo na kasi maibabalik ang nangdaan. Kaya heto bumabawi. Pero ang totoo, napraning ako kagabi...si lola, nakita ko dumadaing at inaaruga ng tita ko...wala na kasi si lolo...mga tatlong taon narin ang nakalipas...nauna na syang iniwan. Naisip ko tuloy, pag umabot kaya ako sa ganitong edad, sino kaya nasa tabi ko pag nagkasakit ako(?). Isang napakalaking katanungan na bumagabag sakin habang naglalakad ako palabas ng pasilyo ng ospital. Naku!bakit ko nga ba pino-problema ang ganyang bagay...minsan talaga napaparanoid ako kapag mga ganitong kasama sa buhay na ang usapan. Ewan ko ba!Puno kasi ng hiwaga ang buhay. Lahat tayo di mahulaan kung ano tayo bukas makalawa. Ah! basta..di na ako mag-aalinlangan ipakita pagmamahal ko sa mga tao sa paligid ko....sabi nga ng isa kong friend...masaktan man sya sa huli..she will never hold back the feeling.


10 simple pleasures that i like most...

tagged by ghee...and as promised..here it is...

1. Pray- when i pray, i don't just say the basics( i mean the ready-made ones written on a pamphlet).I pray in a way only the Most Omnipotent One could understand...sometimes..in my silence..even when i don't have to utter a single word...deep in my heart..i know He could read me.

2. Laugh-" smile so that the world will smile back to you..".. i love to joke around...might not have the cutest smile in the world but....all i know is that it's a wonderful feeling to be able to laugh and exchange humor with people..sometimes we have to laugh at things...it's the secret of staying young.. at heart.

3. Eat- i love munching food...but i wonder why i never grow fat..mmm...i guess..i've lot's of "itchyworm"..in my tummy...;0)..yaykks!

4. Read- never stop the habit of learning...our mind gets to depreciate as we get older..and i believe that learning is a never ending process...mmm...take it from me..education doesn't end in school.

5. Sing- modesty aside...been a choir member back in high school..hehehe...i'm a frustrated singer, actually! i love songs...they pour out my emotions...am a hopeless romantic.

6. Clean- i have learned the habit of cleaning everything messy that i come across with..i always want my stuff in order..though sometimes i'd rather have to be idle than clean around while others are messing up...not that i'm obsessive compulsive...but i also believe that cleanliness is next to Godliness...(ito yung lagi kong nababasa na motto sa itaas ng blackboard namin back in high school and elementary).

7. Ma-in-love- ...mmmm...the most wonderful feeling anybody could ever imagine...where everything is easy to bear..the grass is greener...the world is much livelier...songs are more meaningful...and life seems..just seems.. perfect inspite of its oddity.

8.Teach- teaching doesn't mean being in a classroom setting...you can teach wherever direction in life you are heading...as long as you know that what you will be imparting to people do have ultimate values and worth...we all can make difference..no matter how little you think you're just.

9. Sleep- beauty rest is very important to all working and busy individuals...be sure to get 8 to 10 hours sleep...so that pimples will have no chance in the world!hehe..ang sarap kaya matulog..especially in the morning...when it's already 5minutes for shower and i ony have 30 minutes to prepare for work!hurry ev!you'd be late!mmm...

10. Blog- i love to write...there's just something in blogging that ease my emotions as soon as i've started to pour them out...just keep posting even when it doesn't really have to make sense..sometimes words don't say it all but for sure 3 out of 10 readers will appear to understand what you actually mean...at least may tatlo!;)

I could have written more than ten pleasures but maybe next time...when my mind works best...today is my first day of tutoring again..kinda feeling the need to rekindle some.


Got this from my mail box...just wanna share..

You're in love with a human being and not with superman!!!

A few years back...I was so excited to meet that special someone who
will make my life complete. I thought I had it all
na kasi except for that someone who will make me
forget about my fears and heartaches.

Many times...I thought nakilala ko na siya...
but many times I realized that hindi pala siya.
I don't know kung hindi talaga siya para sa akin or ako
lang yung may problema...dahil i just can't get
contented with what I have.
Masaya lang kasi sa una...then after that, sunod sunod na ang away,
kung wala namang away, wala namang thrill.
And I end up getting tired of hoping that tomorrow will make up
for today...Finally, I decided that maybe
its better to try my luck elsewhere, maybe,
someone else's love will make me feel complete.
Every woman wants a man who will make ! her feel
special...and treat her like she's everything in his life...
He's always busy...he doesn't
have time for me. He promised to take me out for dinner
and movie and then biglang tatawag "B, sorry I can't take you out
today,my boss asked me to work tonight, may hinahabol kasing deadline.
Nakakahiya naman pag hindi ko pagbibigyan.

Hayaan mo I'll make it up to you next time." And it happens all the
time. I often end up spending the day crying in my room.
"Bakit gan'un, he doesn't care about me...
I was looking forward to see him today. Hindi ba niya ako
namimiss?" Kaya heto ako...I've made up my mind na..
...I'll give him what he wants...he probably won't miss me anyway.
I'm always last sa lahat ng priorities niya.
Im not important to him at all. If he can't treat me
right, somebody else will!

Mahimbing ang tulog niya...when he came home. D man lng niya ako
napansin.He gave me a kiss sa cheek and ginulo ang buhok ko...after ! that
dumeretso nasa kuarto at natulog. I won't wake him up anymore..
..susulat na lng ako...at parang isang panaginip...pagising niya wala na ako.

Dear Jake,

While you're reading this letter, wala na ako...you probably won't see
me again. I won't tell you the details anymore coz alam mo na yun. but i
guess you deserve to know why...Lately, I realized that this is not the kind
of life that I want for myself..you know that I've been lonely most of my
life and I want to share my life with someone who won't take me for
granted, who will make me happy every second of my life. Forgive me but
I guess, hanggang dito na lng tayo. I just want you to know that I love
you and I want you to be happy too.


With tears in my eyes, I left the letter beside him para makita niya
paggising niya. And then I looked at him. Ang guapo guapo niya...napangiti
ako...naaalala ko nung una ko siyang makilala. I met this guy sa
schoolnung college. Ang daming nagkakagusto sa kanya but I don't know what he saw
in me at ako ang niligawan niya kahit inaaway ko siya. I was scared of
him before, para kasing playboy ang mukha...I was broken hearted at
that time and getting hurt again was the last thing I wanted. But then he
was persistent and he was really nice to me. At first, our relationship was
extraordinary. wala akong masabi.

Nobody has ever treated me like that...kaya lang as time went by...we
both got busy and despite the fact that we both lived under one roof, we
seldom spent time with each other. He buys me anything I want but I dont
really need anything...I just need him. But i guess, he changed a lot since
the first time we were together, siguro he fell out of love and he just
can't tell me...Ba't kasi kailangan pang magbago ang lahat....kaya heto na
naman ako, muling mag iisa.I didn't realize, I was staring at him for 3

Gumalaw siya and something fell off his hand---ballpen?! and then I saw
a piece of paper sa tabi niya.. I was curious kaya binasa ko and it goes
like this...

Dear Maan,

For all the times that I have disappointed you, I'm really sorry. I
know I've been out of your sight often and that I always make you feel bad.
Im really sorry. I want you to know that even though wala ako sa tabi
mo...I'm always thinking about you. You are the reason why I work hard. I want
to give you everything in life because you deserve everything and I want
you to be happy. Kaya forgive me kung hindi tayo natuloy last week. I had to
work double time para matuloy tayo ngayon. I know that you've always wanted
to go south sa beach. I can't afford a house by the beach right now but I
hope that I've made you happy today. I love you baby. I love you more than
you'll ever know. Happy Valentines Day!

With lots of love,

What if hindi ko nakita ang ! letter na to? I could have committed the
greatest mistake of my life, letting go of someone who loves me the way
this man does. I will never forgive myself for thinking that he was unfair,
that he doesn't care, that he doesn't love me. I couldn't help myself but
All the while, I was the one being unfair and selfish and I feel so
stupid for failing to see what this man is doing for me. Valentines na pala
next week. I havent got anything for him yet...ahh alam ko na, from now
on,hindi na ako mangungulit. I can wake up tomorrow and pretend that nothing
happened tonight. I placed his letter back under his pillow and I tore mine
into pieces. Tapos, niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit. I love you, b. I
whispered. He wrapped his arms around me at ginulo ang buhok ko (gulat ako) I love
you more he told me. And he laughed. He was watching me all the time?! O,
tapos naba ang drama mo? Kanina pa kita hinihintay. And he turned off the

---the realization---she is married to jake! not to clark( the superman);)
---but honestly i am so touched with this...really it moved me & my bespren too.