"Indefinable bond"

i'm amazed how wide the scope of friendship is...
when you were once just a single droplet of water...
i thank you for being able to make waves still.

may we continue to be a gift to people...
people who might have realized they're friendless...

who knows how far can "Hellos" do...
or a simple "how are you?"...
all our hearts need reassurance..affirmation..a bit a of affection..
for we don't know how far it can go.

"Sometimes we have to be inspired by people to be able to make masterpieces...."


To my brother in heaven....

Kumusta ka na? God.. i miss you so much!! each time i would think of the day i last saw you, you still seem so alive in my mind.... i know we're not raised to be the closest siblings but then thoughts of you still hurt me so. i confess, i was not ready with your goodbye.... alam mo bro, when the news was broke to us, i really asked God why it had to be you and not me....yah! that was four years ago...maaring nakarecover na rin sila mama...but then each time i see your children, i still wish that it had to be me and not you...ok lang naman sakin in exchange of you ...i don't have a family of my own to raise...God could choose not to forgive me for questioning His reasons and i really did ask for forgiveness for stupidly thinking so...

...heto kami,sometimes we still disagree on some things that heated our egos into little fights...sana masaya ka dyan, alam ko mahal ka ng Diyos...i know how much sacrifices you have had before for your wife and children....nakakapanghinayang pa rin, coz i still wish you'd see how much your kids have grown up to be like the way you look...how i wish to see you smiling each time the kids would boast of how much accomplishments they get in their studies....you must be a proud father!

....bakit nga ba nagpaalam ka on the day before my birthday? ang sakit nun bro, ang daya ng tadhana...,bro...hindi pa pala kita natawag na kuya eversince...kasi naman hindi tayo nasanay sa ganung tawagan...oo nga! bakit nga ba sa kaarawan ko pa, ilang birthdays tuloy akong hindi makapag-celebrate, kasi iba ang celebration...alam mo, from then on, parang i don't wanna celebrate my birthday anymore...i'm not blaming you ha! but i must admit, i also questioned God why it had to be on that day...mabuti na lang God is so forgiving at naiintindihan nya na tao lang ako na minsan hindi ko talaga ma-grasp mga paraan nya...but i know you're the kids' angel now....kumusta na kaya ang buhay mo dyan?.... i'm sure there's no more sadness and heartaches there....people are right, we will only realize the value of a person when he's gone...

...pasensya ka na i was not able to visit you at the hospital, kasi naman i was planning then to celebrate my birthday there, kaso hindi ka umabot...alam mo bang i really had a dream after your wake, and i saw myself attending you at the hospital...and God! you were so alive! grabeng guilt ko nung time na yun, kasi hindi kita talaga napagsilbihan...alam mo bang mas masakit maiwan kesa mang-ewan? pero ok na ako ngayon, ang tagal ko ring nakarecover kasi i was thinking of mama the whole time nun, nag-worry ako bout her health and i forgot about my own feeling...kaya late ko na masyado narealize how hurt i was to have lost you in the family.

...syanga pala, we now live in a world full of selfish and corrupt people....you're lucky having not to witness it all now....but i worry for the kids generation...please be their angel...i miss you bro...we all miss you! but i know you're happy wherever you are...i must know that...i miss you so!


On Finding meanings...

The greatest miracle on earth is a mother giving birth to another human being who might one day be just one of the rest, might be a very good or not so good leader or might be bringing such effect to other people's lives.

We all make friendship in all walks of our lives wherever road our journey may lead us. And I must say that God really blessed me having found real friendship with people whose roads now diverged from mine.

Songs of worship remind of me of the happiest time of my youth when I was there singing before the Father the praise and worship He truly deserves. I was there with the rest of other gifted individuals who have now become a part of my wonderful journey. If could only freeze the moments...we'd all be ice now!:)

I have made friendship with people who have really left a big mark in the deepest corner of my heart.To some I might not be the best while to some I might be one. To some I might have touched lives while to others I might just be wind. I miss these people...so terribly!Lord knows how much I value the friendship.There were just foolish moments I regret for lying before God and my family the stolen memories of my times with them. To just simply not ask permission in going out with friends, for having a father who naturally hates the sun to set without us his children before his very eyes.

I love my father inspite of the fights we have had. It's just that I don't understand his logic. But I could really never imagine life without my family. I maybe far from them often but in my heart and mind, I love them more than myself. My prayer goes to them each of my waking hour. There are just things we forget to compromise to understand each other's differences as one family. But who I am now I owe before God and my parents. Who am I to grumble when life sometimes doesn't turn out to be the way I chartered it! I'm blessed...I must not stop from that realization.

The life of Helen Keller is a life well lived more than us who are born complete. My heart melts knowing how tough must life be being blind and deaf as Helen. But she had wonderfully woven the story of her life. She had witnessed the beauty of God's creation and heard the deepest longings of her heart more than the one who can see thru his naked eye and hear with his senses. Helen might have pains and anguish during her youth, but with all the examples she'd set, I realize that there's more to the unseen and much to what are felt.

Now, what adds beauty to life for me is not at all about things that can only be bought. What a big realization to finally able to understand that the real essence of my existence is actually for free. FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE...what else can be more beautiful to life than knowing this and having this in my heart. I'm blessed..inspite of all my imperfections...I'm blessed.


The Hands that Rock the Cradle...

Here's a very heart-warming article I read from a news column. I wish to share this to all sons and daughters dearly loved by all mothers in the world.

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on.
After his mama dried her hands on an apron, she read it and this is what it said: For cutting the grass:P5.00. For cleaning up my room this week:P1.00. For going to the store for you:0.50 cents. Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping:.25 cents. Taking out the garbage:P1.00. For getting a good report card:P5.00. For cleaning and sweeping the yard:P2.00. Total owed: P14.75.
His mother looked at him standing there and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:
For nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: no charge.For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No charge. For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years: No charge.
For all the nights that were filled with dread and for the worries I knew were ahead: no charge. For the toys, food , clothes, and even wiping your nose: No charge, son.
When you add it up, the cost of my love is : No charge. When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said,"Mom, I sure do love you."
Adn then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: "PAID IN FULL".