unanticipated ( the job_part2)

A month after, I slowly learned to find my lot, slowly building friendship with co-workers, but not with our principal. He was being feared by everybody for his strict implementation of the school policies and most of all, his fearless discipline towards his teachers. He wouldn't care to have you embarrassed during a meeting if you couldn't meet his expectation. On one occasion, my male co-teacher and I were in his office, one morning, for a confrontation. My co-teacher cried in front of him but I... never. I managed to keep my composure though deep inside I was hurting. Sometimes, his character was unbelievable. He would refuse to listen to your reason and believe only on his own.

But when I got home, I cried buckets in silence. I thought of giving up but my will to stay prevailed. I told  myself, he's just a challenge. I must not let him simply win. I have to keep going.

I wouldn't mind finding him almost always outside my classroom, observing how I managed my class and gave lecture. I wouldn't mind him, getting inside in one of my classes, doing unannounced observation. His stare could kill if you would not stick your courage to a sticking place.

Those were moments, I had very little anticipation with on being in the teaching profession. Those times when I must simply be the confident master of my own work inside the classroom but there are people around haunting your concentration as if ready to devour you at any moment because you couldn't perfect your job.

If this is the kind of environment I would be dealing with everyday of my life, I must find ways. I want to be happy with my job. I want to be happy while with my pupils, as we learn together, each day.

Just when I thought already of leaving my post as the school year ended, it was the circumstance already that found way for me to stay. Our dear principal left his job to finally retire as he too was in conflict with his superiors.

It was a relief. God always finds a way.


the job

(A recap..)

Welcome to my first day in the teaching profession.

There were thirty 5th graders under my advisory. Noise was airing from two other classrooms next to where I was heading. I was still on the hallway halfway off to my advisory class. As I stepped on the doorway, all eyes were on me. And the silence was deafening for awhile. I did greet casually putting my voice in a not much high tone in order to be heard until the last person seated at the back. They responded in a much higher tone. "Ok, please take your seat." They sat while eyes still on me.

I knew that day would be one of the toughest circumstances I would have in a classroom setting. Had the previous teacher did not get married and went abroad to be with her husband, she would have been their adviser still. And I wouldn't find myself in a situation where I would be coping with their anxieties about who and how this new teacher in front of them would appear to be in the middle of school year. I knew then, it was an adjustment on the pupils part as much as in mine. But I felt a no way out. I needed the job.

I introduced myself on a lighter mode and more bubbly gesture to at least make them feel at ease. I could not read their mind as of the moment. I plainly saw normal reactions in their countenance. I asked each to introduce themselves shortly to me too. Some stood shy while others went confident and funny. I ended the session with only trying to get acquainted with them at least in a way. And as I went out of the classroom, I felt a big deep breath like a stone just falling into my diaphragm. I was thinking already what impression the pupils might have on me. I couldn't help from feeling there would probably be a big comparison about who's better between me and the teacher who left.

Just when I thought that my adjustment will just be inside my new advisory class, I was a big wrong. There was a bigger challenge at hand inside the faculty room. Being new, I was quiet, a bit shy, and could only manage a friendly smile. They were nice and friendly for sure. However, one of them being the head teacher, was a bit strict that I must earn her trust.


a child..

This song reminds me of my rowdy student each time his father would come to me to get his report card. I could see my student's scared countenance and the eyes of his father seemingly in rage. I've always wanted the father to know how his son behaves in my class at times..like the couple of troubles he makes, but there's something within me that's pulling me not to. At times, only my sharp look and silence make him stop and behave in one corner. The last time we're together, he came to me showing his sweet gesture.

No matter what..and in how much manner a child has grown to be, I've always believed that every child is special.