21.8.06

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth."

How many of us are too afraid to express our true feelings? And then, on the later part, we regret why we aren't able to do so..when it's already too late and there's no more chance of letting the person know...

When i was a kid, i didn't know the difference between "showing" what you feel and "saying" what you feel. I wasn't brought up mushy and expressive about my feelings. Seeing life in a big struggle and seeing my parents working very hard to sustain our needs, the showing of affection for one another as family is not our big concern. It didn't matter whether we have time together for a closer relationship, but it did matter, that though my parents were often out for work, there must be something to be set on the table. But when i was already growing up and saw how my cousins show their affetion to their parents by kissing on the cheeks each time their dad are home from work and finding them being able to say too easily what they feel , I started to feel envious and grow questioning why it's just too lousy and hard for me to express the same way to my family. When all i can do is show them importance in some conventional way..when it's not "corny". But i do have regrets...only when five years ago, my brother passed away...that's why the song "i can't cry hard enough" connotes such a deeper meaning on me.

Too many relationships have crambled for one simple reason...romantism drifted into oblivion.

One time, i saw a wedding guest book (dated years ago) already junked by our neighbor. I opened some pages and found meaningful messages of good luck and prayers from relative and friends ,for the success of their marriage. I asked my friend why it was thrown away, and it made me sad a bit when my friend said, "Ev, i tried gave it back for they might have just misplaced it, but the wife said,"what is that book for?we can't pawn it anyway!". I was stammered. For this, i sense one obvious reason t
hat the most challenging stage in every married couple's life is when they've reached "boredom"at the height of their relationship. Could it be possible? But of course! For so many possible reasons, i know one--- the death of a romance.

So when you express your love, I say," don't say you love the person because.....but rather, love the person beyond reasons...a love that not limited by time... a love that's boundless...so that when all that your love can offer would one day be stolen by circumstance or old age(though i hope not!)....you two would still vow to love each for the same reason! Well, it reminds me of the movie"The Notebook". How i love it!"



10 comments:

razzy said...

bakit ang liit na ng fon sa end, hindi ko tuloy mabasa.. :0

ako rin ganyan dati, hindi ko alam kung bakit nahihirapan akong magsabi ng i love you sa family ko.. hindi lang siguro ako sanay, mas ipinapakita ko na lang sa gawa.

pero ngayon mas masarap sabihin na mahal mo sila, at the same time ipinapakita mo...

Art said...

What a wonderful post Ev. Too many family members think people just know that they love them and they don't say it. Although many also say love is about actions; I consider speaking the truth to also be an action. Its hard to regret being truthful unless the truth is very painful.

tutubing_karayom said...

Uy May Copy ako ng Movie nayan.. yahooo..

Hoho nga, tama si hART... u need to speak for the truth...

Nways, i really dont think der is a death of Romance, maybe dey just neglect wat they feel hanggang sa nakalimutan o pilit nalang kinalimutan.. Nasa tao nman kasi tlga yan... kung feeling mo walang ng reason to stay on a relationship,,, think back.. just think of those memories kung pano kayo pinag tagpo ng tadhana.. and how much i u fell inlove... ewan ko sa iba pero ganyan ang alam ko...

u can always fire up a love kung buo ang loob mo at ang tiwala mo... pero hindi pwedeng one sided lang...

Bkit nga pala ganyan ang topic mo? nanood ka na nman ng teledrama no? or nag basa ka ng pocket book? o malamang me nareciv kang nakaka inlove na email galing kay.... dun sa recipient... hahah! love u EV

ev said...

Razzberry,
kala ko nga hindi normal pero ang hirap pag di ka sanay kasi parang ang corny...hanggat ngayon hirap pa rin mag-express sa family vocally. Pero tama ka iba yung liban sa gawa ay may salita...mas fulfilling...corny kasi talaga akong tao..ang dami kong kasentihan sa buhay.(hehehe)

Art,
Thanks!You are a very appreciative person. Don't change that coz many people need that.And yes, "Its hard to regret being truthful unless the truth is very painful."

Tk,
Labs din kita!Ang ganda ng movie no?Gusto ko nga ulit-ulitin eh!lalo na yung ending...ang galing ng concept. You have a point, dapat laging i-enhance ang relationship para laging may magic!Nabasa ko lang yung quote sa itaas, kaya binigyan ko ng kunting thought kaya ako nakabuo ng ganitong entry..kaw ha!ayan ka naman..kung ano iniisip.:)

Ann said...

I started to be vocal with the words i love you and take care to my family back home just recently. I am not used with the words, mahirap talaga pag di ka sanay. Well, it's not yet too late...It's better if you show them you care at the same time saying it.

ev said...

your comment is very much appreciated mommy ann...i'll take it from you...mas masarap talaga yung nagagawa at nasasabi mo rin at the same time dahil people sometimes need reassuring words.

Mish said...

wow ev, nice post. especially the last part.

i'm sorry about your brother. siguro naman naiintindihan ka niya. kung di kayo sanay before sa pagpapakita ng affection sa kapamilya mahirap talaga. di mo alam kung paano sisimulan. ako rin before hindi ako showy sa family ko. but then one night, tinupok ng apoy ang bahay namin. dun ako thankful na walang nasaktan sa amin. siguro may trauma rin ako pero mas naging close ako sa family ko dahil doon. mawala lang ako ng isang araw, parang di ko alam ang gagawin ko. Namimiss ko na agad sila at gusto ko nang makauwi. Minsan we have to face certain situations or circumstances para malaman natin kung ano yung mga namissed natin. it's never too late...

i got teary-eyed with your post, promise. i'm not regretting ever linking your page. good luck and God bless to you and your family!

ev said...

salamat gandang mish...nakakataba naman ng puso..magaling ka rin!

ganyan talaga ang buhay...things are learned sometimes or most of the times, the hard way.

journeyman said...

wonderful post... life indeed becomes more beautiful when we express ourselves more... but such is life, we somehow forget to show our love and worry about other petty things...
Eagles sang once : "When we are hungry, thirsty, love will keep us alive"

Another similarity between us could be in the expression of lovein our families.. the only amend we can however make could be by starting expressing love... a tribute to our parents who did so much for us.. :-)

lil _kath said...

... being a taurean i know ur like me ^_^ we're very open and showy to what we really feels right? And we get inmense satisfaction from seeing love ones happy ^_^

... i think we should say what we mean and mean what we say !

... and also we should not forget to count our blessings and give thanks to the LORD always!

hugss,
-kathy