29.7.06

Just when i thought i was ready for an answer....

At this moment in time, i find myself in a situation when things have been hitting hard on me.When i have to say to myself i have to go on than i wish i can just walk out than hold on. When i just have to "move on" than say "i quit"...because in my solitude i know that my only refuge is "faith".

This morning i did my report in class,and i know it was well. My partner who is supposed to share this experience with me was not around for she has to attend to some very important things that time may have actually permit them to happen. And then again, i found myself alone....infront of everybody. That very moment when i wish someone would say, "we can make it ev!", but deep inside to my realization, i was just saying to myself, "you can make it ev!". Our teamwork where i found no team at all because i was put in a situation where i have to pick myself up because the challenge's on the go. But "thank God it's over...i made it through". I've always believed that things do happen for a reason yet sometimes i forget that i don't actually understand and could give meaning as to "how and why?". Things i thought i could just simply answer out of experience but infact the one that i know will not probably answer just why something is happening like this to me this time.

Have you ever been in a situation when there are questions thrown on you that you wish you just couldn't care to answer and wish to be naive because sometimes it's just too painful once you begin to realize? It happened to me when i least expect it...

One time, my best friend asked me about how she was going to answer her 5-year-old son asking," Mommy, what is the baby doing in her mommy's tummy?". At first i found it funny for how could my friend asked it on me. She said she was showing her son a picture of a pregnant woman and then to her surprised the boy started to ask. She and her husband couldn't find a very simple way of explaining the idea to their son. It was a bit suprising to them in fact, because they have the idea yet they could not find basic words that the kid could understand. Maybe for some reasons that as adult, we have to have sometimes an impulse to very simplistic on things. Though our reasoning and profound idea may be very well exact to explain a certain thing, sometimes we forget that in life, there are instances that may put us at a certain climax where things have to be simplified than make it even complex and complicated.

Just as we have millions of definition about "love" but once we get caught in a situation where we thought we verily know because our experiences tell us to, we may still end up to realizing that we could not just simply give meaning and reason as to why it's happening and we begin to ask ouselves "where did my reasoning go?". Because every experience is actually different from the one we've just went through.Because everyday is a unique experience. We may define well what we've got to do with our daily routine, but the fact remain that the surprises it brings is a lot harder sometimes to just imagine.

I was in my concentration of giving instruction to Chris bout our new lesson when out of the blue he asked, "teacher, why do tears fall from our eyes?". I was tounge-tied. I know why an innocent one would just like to know the scientific explanation why it is so, but then somehow i wish i could just tell him too that i am just hurting and that's actually my reason for now why tears fall from my eyes.

5 comments:

razzy said...

very well said ev.. Sometimes when we are in pain and in difficulties, we rarely find an answer to so many questions, questions that we wished it were never created. Then you would ask yourself, am I that stupid?

It happened to me so many times. I wish to be na├»ve sometimes, so I won’t complicate things..

I just remember one of my bosses, he would always asked me, “Raz if you’re on to that situation what would you do?” Then, he would expect me to answer the same idea that he has.. How can it possible be..? We have different perspective in any situation, different view. Well, we sometimes have to look on both sides, to fully understand others..

Teka, napapa ingles na rin ako sayo ah.. Contagious pala yan... tama pa kaya yang pinagsasasabi ko? ahehehehehe

tutubing_karayom said...

Ano daw un??? kidding aside...

There are things that are better left unsaid sabi nga nila, para wala ng masaktan pang iba,.. or rather it was better left unexplained para hindi na maging masyado pang complicated...

In this life, sometimes its better to be quiet and to shut up than to say the things that can hurt other people..

ang layo ata ng sinabi ko... pero ganito ata tlga yan... hindi na kailangan pang ipaliwanag at bigyan ng isang scientific explanation o mathematical equation ang isang bagay na kelangan lang or dapat tlgang mangyari... parang the tears that fell into ur eyes... it could mean bitterness, anger, hurt or joy... pero hindi na kelangan pang i explain...

ev said...

Razz,
u're right!others perspective bout things may be different from ours..and what we have may not be a sufficient answer to what the other person is expecting from us...and we wish to be naive just not to complicate things...what a wonderful comment my fren!tnx!

Tk,
lahat ng comment dito may point...kasi kelangan yun, para di tuloy-tuloy ang sentence...wehehehe!part lang pala ng sentence construction ibig kong sabihin...jok lang!kasi naman lagi na lang akong nag-eemote!kainis na...wlang kamatayang paghihinagpis!wahhhhh!thanks tk, ang sarap nyong kaibigan kasi ang lalim nyong tao maliban sa totoo kayo..sana wag ka magsawa kahit busy-busyhan beauty ko this week....advice taken inang!;)

lojik said...

ev,

senti ka? hmmn... one of the things i hate in this world is to be alone. cause during that time, chaos easily gets into my mind. just the same as silence become more deafening. yeah, i also believe that all those things here on earth happen for a reason but the sad part is... we can't have all the reasons after all. some are left unrevealed and hidden, again for some reasons sometimes we don't know (ang gulo!) but that's it lalo lang gugulo ang lahat kung pipilitin mong hanapan ng karampatang rason ang mga bagay na di na naman kailangan bigyang rason kundi tanggapin na lang.

punong puno ng lessons ang post na ito. sometimes we gotta take things easily. minsan tao lang naman ngpapakomplikado ng sitwasyon.

tutubing_karayom said...

MUkhang napalalim din ang comment ko jan ah! me lagnat ata ako.. heheh