At this moment in time, i find myself in a situation when things have been hitting hard on me.When i have to say to myself i have to go on than i wish i can just walk out than hold on. When i just have to "move on" than say "i quit"...because in my solitude i know that my only refuge is "faith".
This morning i did my report in class,and i know it was well. My partner who is supposed to share this experience with me was not around for she has to attend to some very important things that time may have actually permit them to happen. And then again, i found myself alone....infront of everybody. That very moment when i wish someone would say, "we can make it ev!", but deep inside to my realization, i was just saying to myself, "you can make it ev!". Our teamwork where i found no team at all because i was put in a situation where i have to pick myself up because the challenge's on the go. But "thank God it's over...i made it through". I've always believed that things do happen for a reason yet sometimes i forget that i don't actually understand and could give meaning as to "how and why?". Things i thought i could just simply answer out of experience but infact the one that i know will not probably answer just why something is happening like this to me this time.
Have you ever been in a situation when there are questions thrown on you that you wish you just couldn't care to answer and wish to be naive because sometimes it's just too painful once you begin to realize? It happened to me when i least expect it...
One time, my best friend asked me about how she was going to answer her 5-year-old son asking," Mommy, what is the baby doing in her mommy's tummy?". At first i found it funny for how could my friend asked it on me. She said she was showing her son a picture of a pregnant woman and then to her surprised the boy started to ask. She and her husband couldn't find a very simple way of explaining the idea to their son. It was a bit suprising to them in fact, because they have the idea yet they could not find basic words that the kid could understand. Maybe for some reasons that as adult, we have to have sometimes an impulse to very simplistic on things. Though our reasoning and profound idea may be very well exact to explain a certain thing, sometimes we forget that in life, there are instances that may put us at a certain climax where things have to be simplified than make it even complex and complicated.
Just as we have millions of definition about "love" but once we get caught in a situation where we thought we verily know because our experiences tell us to, we may still end up to realizing that we could not just simply give meaning and reason as to why it's happening and we begin to ask ouselves "where did my reasoning go?". Because every experience is actually different from the one we've just went through.Because everyday is a unique experience. We may define well what we've got to do with our daily routine, but the fact remain that the surprises it brings is a lot harder sometimes to just imagine.
I was in my concentration of giving instruction to Chris bout our new lesson when out of the blue he asked, "teacher, why do tears fall from our eyes?". I was tounge-tied. I know why an innocent one would just like to know the scientific explanation why it is so, but then somehow i wish i could just tell him too that i am just hurting and that's actually my reason for now why tears fall from my eyes.