At this moment in time, i find myself in a situation when things have been hitting hard on me.When i have to say to myself i have to go on than i wish i can just walk out than hold on. When i just have to "move on" than say "i quit"...because in my solitude i know that my only refuge is "faith".
This morning i did my report in class,and i know it was well. My partner who is supposed to share this experience with me was not around for she has to attend to some very important things that time may have actually permit them to happen. And then again, i found myself alone....infront of everybody. That very moment when i wish someone would say, "we can make it ev!", but deep inside to my realization, i was just saying to myself, "you can make it ev!". Our teamwork where i found no team at all because i was put in a situation where i have to pick myself up because the challenge's on the go. But "thank God it's over...i made it through". I've always believed that things do happen for a reason yet sometimes i forget that i don't actually understand and could give meaning as to "how and why?". Things i thought i could just simply answer out of experience but infact the one that i know will not probably answer just why something is happening like this to me this time.
Have you ever been in a situation when there are questions thrown on you that you wish you just couldn't care to answer and wish to be naive because sometimes it's just too painful once you begin to realize? It happened to me when i least expect it...
One time, my best friend asked me about how she was going to answer her 5-year-old son asking," Mommy, what is the baby doing in her mommy's tummy?". At first i found it funny for how could my friend asked it on me. She said she was showing her son a picture of a pregnant woman and then to her surprised the boy started to ask. She and her husband couldn't find a very simple way of explaining the idea to their son. It was a bit suprising to them in fact, because they have the idea yet they could not find basic words that the kid could understand. Maybe for some reasons that as adult, we have to have sometimes an impulse to very simplistic on things. Though our reasoning and profound idea may be very well exact to explain a certain thing, sometimes we forget that in life, there are instances that may put us at a certain climax where things have to be simplified than make it even complex and complicated.
Just as we have millions of definition about "love" but once we get caught in a situation where we thought we verily know because our experiences tell us to, we may still end up to realizing that we could not just simply give meaning and reason as to why it's happening and we begin to ask ouselves "where did my reasoning go?". Because every experience is actually different from the one we've just went through.Because everyday is a unique experience. We may define well what we've got to do with our daily routine, but the fact remain that the surprises it brings is a lot harder sometimes to just imagine.
I was in my concentration of giving instruction to Chris bout our new lesson when out of the blue he asked, "teacher, why do tears fall from our eyes?". I was tounge-tied. I know why an innocent one would just like to know the scientific explanation why it is so, but then somehow i wish i could just tell him too that i am just hurting and that's actually my reason for now why tears fall from my eyes.
20.7.06
Quotable quotes.....
"Winning horse doesn't know why it runs in race..it runs because of beats and pains. Life is a race; God is your rider.So if you aRE in pain,then think God wants you to win."
"If the sun shines in your soul, does it matter if it rains outside?Happiness within overlooks the sadness that any event may bring."
"Life comes just once so let's make the most out of it. God didn't give us everything to enjoy life but He gave us LIFE to enjoy everything."
"Sometimes God gives us an orange when we asked for an apple because He knows that the season won't give us the sweetest one..EVERYTHING is beautiful in its own time."
***how wonderful life can be coz we are gifted with such wisdom!...now the choice is ours...should we just LIKE the quotes..or LIVE with these quotes?****
"If the sun shines in your soul, does it matter if it rains outside?Happiness within overlooks the sadness that any event may bring."
"Life comes just once so let's make the most out of it. God didn't give us everything to enjoy life but He gave us LIFE to enjoy everything."
"Sometimes God gives us an orange when we asked for an apple because He knows that the season won't give us the sweetest one..EVERYTHING is beautiful in its own time."
***how wonderful life can be coz we are gifted with such wisdom!...now the choice is ours...should we just LIKE the quotes..or LIVE with these quotes?****
15.7.06
Saranggola...
Kung titingnan mo... ito'y mula lamang sa mga tagpi-tagping papel na inukit at binuo ng isang pangarap...isang pangarap na sana'y sabay kayo habang tahimik nyang dinama ang hangin sa himpapawid...ngunit napapagod din ang mga kamay sa kanyang pagpapalipad...dahil hindi pala sa lahat ng panahon..nakikiayon ang hangin upang masaya lagi ang mga buntot at pakpak ng isang munting saranggolang binuo ng isang nangangarap...kung di man bagyo o ulan ang pwede nitong sagupain...isang mapait na katotohanan na ang saranggola kahit hawak mo upang di bumaba mula sa ibayo, hinangad din pala nito na sana ang kanyang kalayaan ay maging ganap..maaring hinangad din nito ang maging ibon....malayang nakakalipad...dahil yun ang mas nakakabuti...dahil doon sya mas masaya.
..... bukas paggising ko upang buksan ang panibagong araw...ako'y malaya na...dahil tuluyan ko na pinakawalan ang saranggolang marahil nais na ding makawala. Pagod na akong makiramdam. Pagod na ako sa mga positibong bagay na lihim kong binuo sa isip ko na baka may pangarap na naghihintay para sa aming dalawa...kelangan ko nang palitan ang isang "butas na saranggola".
(at nagsenti daw akoh!!na di alam anong nais iparating dito!hehee, kasi naman kahapon.....di bali na lang!kagabi ko pa pinakikinggan kanta ng Shamrock na "alipin"..ang lupeet!)
..... bukas paggising ko upang buksan ang panibagong araw...ako'y malaya na...dahil tuluyan ko na pinakawalan ang saranggolang marahil nais na ding makawala. Pagod na akong makiramdam. Pagod na ako sa mga positibong bagay na lihim kong binuo sa isip ko na baka may pangarap na naghihintay para sa aming dalawa...kelangan ko nang palitan ang isang "butas na saranggola".
(at nagsenti daw akoh!!na di alam anong nais iparating dito!hehee, kasi naman kahapon.....di bali na lang!kagabi ko pa pinakikinggan kanta ng Shamrock na "alipin"..ang lupeet!)
11.7.06
She was just a girl...
"The taming Of the Shrew"..this is one of the comic works of William Shakespeare. But to call my subject "Shrewd" is such an understatement. For me, she's just a girl already learning from experience. I say, "the tamed now being shrewd."
Five years back when i last saw the innnocence in her. She was only 15 then, so young and naive from experience. But she's a different person now. A lot different from whom i've known way back. She has become vibrant, outspoken, and already grown wild. At first, I could not recognize her. Her lips reddish, eyebrows shaven, eyes filled with intensifying color that bring out the soul in her...dressed up like a model. And i must say, she has learned from experience. She looks just like the one i see in magazines grown to be a woman i could have compared to a lioness...unafraid of what lies ahead.
But what fills me with much astonishment is when i find her in a very intriguing character, far from the girl that i once knew. I see her, I have witnessed her dilemma. Getting home from the nightlife activity, walking in zigzag till the wee hour of dawn.. drunk! I'm surprised...i have reached my adult life though encountered being home at dawn but never tried being at our doorstep drunk. Oh!that would be very unfair to compare myself to her. For me she's still a young girl. She should have been sent to school at her age..BUT.
They moved to Manila back in 2001 hoping to find better living. Her parents sent her to the realm of the Japanese at a very young age. She's pretty. She's got all the chance to get there. They faked her document to get an entrance to that place they thought that would save them from poverty. After twice of being sent there, their family realized that everything was temporal. But not her innnocence. Their little girl is already learning from experience. After five years of staying in Manila, they moved back here in Davao. They could not bear the cost of living in Manila. The poor turning into the poorest, rich to richest, frustrated to most frustrated, wild to most wild, wise to wisest...all down to the superlative level. But who's to blame? I'll hold my comment at that. Life is mysterious and full of challenge.
Now i know she's still filled with much questions in her life. Her "guide" as she grown to be a lady seemed to have led her the other way...not that she deserves to have. Well, it would be too blunt for me to say that i put all the blame to the parents. But there's no other way to make it more politically correct. But i know she's not yet totally ruined...she just need a strong grip from what is life...a life that is beautiful for a beautiful person in her just dreaming that she could help save her family from drowning in poverty.
( The girl i m referring is now 20 yrs. old...the same blood runs from our veins coz she is my cousin..)
Five years back when i last saw the innnocence in her. She was only 15 then, so young and naive from experience. But she's a different person now. A lot different from whom i've known way back. She has become vibrant, outspoken, and already grown wild. At first, I could not recognize her. Her lips reddish, eyebrows shaven, eyes filled with intensifying color that bring out the soul in her...dressed up like a model. And i must say, she has learned from experience. She looks just like the one i see in magazines grown to be a woman i could have compared to a lioness...unafraid of what lies ahead.
But what fills me with much astonishment is when i find her in a very intriguing character, far from the girl that i once knew. I see her, I have witnessed her dilemma. Getting home from the nightlife activity, walking in zigzag till the wee hour of dawn.. drunk! I'm surprised...i have reached my adult life though encountered being home at dawn but never tried being at our doorstep drunk. Oh!that would be very unfair to compare myself to her. For me she's still a young girl. She should have been sent to school at her age..BUT.
They moved to Manila back in 2001 hoping to find better living. Her parents sent her to the realm of the Japanese at a very young age. She's pretty. She's got all the chance to get there. They faked her document to get an entrance to that place they thought that would save them from poverty. After twice of being sent there, their family realized that everything was temporal. But not her innnocence. Their little girl is already learning from experience. After five years of staying in Manila, they moved back here in Davao. They could not bear the cost of living in Manila. The poor turning into the poorest, rich to richest, frustrated to most frustrated, wild to most wild, wise to wisest...all down to the superlative level. But who's to blame? I'll hold my comment at that. Life is mysterious and full of challenge.
Now i know she's still filled with much questions in her life. Her "guide" as she grown to be a lady seemed to have led her the other way...not that she deserves to have. Well, it would be too blunt for me to say that i put all the blame to the parents. But there's no other way to make it more politically correct. But i know she's not yet totally ruined...she just need a strong grip from what is life...a life that is beautiful for a beautiful person in her just dreaming that she could help save her family from drowning in poverty.
( The girl i m referring is now 20 yrs. old...the same blood runs from our veins coz she is my cousin..)
1.7.06
Isang kwento....mula kay Dyosa..napunta kay ghee at ngayon ay sa akin naman naipasa....
mekaniks:
1. Nagsulat si Dyosa ng isang kwento,galing sa fairyland nya,nakarating sa bansang Hapon kay Ghee.Tapos naglakbay sa Pilipinas....Si Ghee ay nag tag(kasama na ko).
2. itutuloy ko at kailangang hindi isulat ang naunang kwento.
3. mag-tag ng iba pang bloggers para madugtungan ang kwento.
4. sa mga na-tag, dudugtungan ang kwento base lamang sa sinulat ng nag-tag sa kanila.
5. bawal hanapin at basahin ang mga naunang kwento.
Ang ita tag ko na magtutuloy ng kwento ay isa lang,si TUTUBING KARAYOM, ang aking mahal na kaibigan.
Ang katapusan ay sa ika sampung(10)tag..ano kaya ang magiging wakas??
Ok,katuwaan lang...
CHAPTER III.
Bago ako nakapagpasya ng tuluyan sa aking balak, muli kong binalikan ang isang alaala kung saan kapwa nami dinama. Natagpuan ko ang sarili ko sa tabing-dagat. Habang nakatingin ako sa bawat dampi ng alon sa aking mga paa, binabalikan ko sa aking imahinasyon ang lahat sa amin sa pook na ito....na ang tangi lang naming saksi ay ang alon. Hindi ko napansin,isang butil ng luha na pala ang aking pinakawalan. Ah!Kung hindi lang ako nagdesisyon ....baka sana'y kasama ko pa sya ngayon! Bigla bumilis ang pintig ng aking puso. Hahanapin ko sya....at buo na ang desisyon ko. Pupuntahan ko sya.
Sabado ng madaling araw ng marating ko ang lugar. Malayo-layo rin pala ang aking biyahe at ako'y nakatulog. Nagising ako ng isang tinig..."Miss, di ka ba bababa?Andito na tayo!". Isang gwapong konduktor ang bumungad sa'kin. Mmmm..kahawig niya si Kneeko ah!hahahahha!(babatokan ako ng girlpren nito!wahhhh!).
Nasa terminal ako ng makaramdam ako ng gutom habang tinatantiya ko kung saan ang aking tungo. Hahanapin ko sya. Ito ang paulit-ulit na sinasambit ng aking puso at isipan. Tiningnan ko ang perang natitira saking pitaka. Kasya pa ito! Ngunit sa lakas ng aking tensyon at excitement, kinalimutan ko ang gutom pansamantala. Pumara muli ako ng masasakyan papunta sa kanila.
Sa wakas..andito na rin ako! Isang pulang gate ang nakaawang ang aking nakita sa di kalayuan mula sa aking binabaan. Isang lalaki na may makisig na tindig ang aking nakita palabas ng gate. Pamilyar siya...ah...siya nga!Siya ang lalaking matagal ko nang gustong makasama at mayakap. Napangiti ako at nakakita ng pag-asa. Humakbang ako papalapit..matamis ang aking ngiti... ng biglang.... may isang babaeng may akay na batang lalaki ang lumabas rin ng gate at lumapit sa kanya. Hinalikan nya sa noo ang batang hawak nito at pagkapos naman ay hinalikan sa labi ang babae. Natigilan ako.
Itutuloy.......
(TK..kaw na bahala dito..wahhh ayoko na!masyado akong nacarried-away...ang hirap mag-emote ha!)
1. Nagsulat si Dyosa ng isang kwento,galing sa fairyland nya,nakarating sa bansang Hapon kay Ghee.Tapos naglakbay sa Pilipinas....Si Ghee ay nag tag(kasama na ko).
2. itutuloy ko at kailangang hindi isulat ang naunang kwento.
3. mag-tag ng iba pang bloggers para madugtungan ang kwento.
4. sa mga na-tag, dudugtungan ang kwento base lamang sa sinulat ng nag-tag sa kanila.
5. bawal hanapin at basahin ang mga naunang kwento.
Ang ita tag ko na magtutuloy ng kwento ay isa lang,si TUTUBING KARAYOM, ang aking mahal na kaibigan.
Ang katapusan ay sa ika sampung(10)tag..ano kaya ang magiging wakas??
Ok,katuwaan lang...
CHAPTER III.
Bago ako nakapagpasya ng tuluyan sa aking balak, muli kong binalikan ang isang alaala kung saan kapwa nami dinama. Natagpuan ko ang sarili ko sa tabing-dagat. Habang nakatingin ako sa bawat dampi ng alon sa aking mga paa, binabalikan ko sa aking imahinasyon ang lahat sa amin sa pook na ito....na ang tangi lang naming saksi ay ang alon. Hindi ko napansin,isang butil ng luha na pala ang aking pinakawalan. Ah!Kung hindi lang ako nagdesisyon ....baka sana'y kasama ko pa sya ngayon! Bigla bumilis ang pintig ng aking puso. Hahanapin ko sya....at buo na ang desisyon ko. Pupuntahan ko sya.
Sabado ng madaling araw ng marating ko ang lugar. Malayo-layo rin pala ang aking biyahe at ako'y nakatulog. Nagising ako ng isang tinig..."Miss, di ka ba bababa?Andito na tayo!". Isang gwapong konduktor ang bumungad sa'kin. Mmmm..kahawig niya si Kneeko ah!hahahahha!(babatokan ako ng girlpren nito!wahhhh!).
Nasa terminal ako ng makaramdam ako ng gutom habang tinatantiya ko kung saan ang aking tungo. Hahanapin ko sya. Ito ang paulit-ulit na sinasambit ng aking puso at isipan. Tiningnan ko ang perang natitira saking pitaka. Kasya pa ito! Ngunit sa lakas ng aking tensyon at excitement, kinalimutan ko ang gutom pansamantala. Pumara muli ako ng masasakyan papunta sa kanila.
Sa wakas..andito na rin ako! Isang pulang gate ang nakaawang ang aking nakita sa di kalayuan mula sa aking binabaan. Isang lalaki na may makisig na tindig ang aking nakita palabas ng gate. Pamilyar siya...ah...siya nga!Siya ang lalaking matagal ko nang gustong makasama at mayakap. Napangiti ako at nakakita ng pag-asa. Humakbang ako papalapit..matamis ang aking ngiti... ng biglang.... may isang babaeng may akay na batang lalaki ang lumabas rin ng gate at lumapit sa kanya. Hinalikan nya sa noo ang batang hawak nito at pagkapos naman ay hinalikan sa labi ang babae. Natigilan ako.
Itutuloy.......
(TK..kaw na bahala dito..wahhh ayoko na!masyado akong nacarried-away...ang hirap mag-emote ha!)
Technicalities of Captivation....
Written in Ohio by a very Special Person...
We met in the surreal confines of the cyberworld. I needed her, and I think she needed me. The immediacy of my captivation provoked unknown consternation. Her picture evoked rejuvenation. Rejuvenation of the hopes thought to have been long dissipated. There was something special about her. She was coy, guarded and the antithesis of loquacious. It was as if she learned from experience that she must become the guardian of her own heart. I have not earned anything. I am now,however and shall remain consistent. I found her in a place where I never dreamed I would look and where she never dreamed she would be. It is as if the cosmic forces of the One we both know are orchestrating the music to a new song. Not a fly-by -night song that only sounds good when you first hear it, but insteadthe classic that stands the test of time and criticism. I am not certain that anyone can feel me other than the one person who should. I am forevermore capitivated.
Thanks for this Art!!You are a great poet.
We met in the surreal confines of the cyberworld. I needed her, and I think she needed me. The immediacy of my captivation provoked unknown consternation. Her picture evoked rejuvenation. Rejuvenation of the hopes thought to have been long dissipated. There was something special about her. She was coy, guarded and the antithesis of loquacious. It was as if she learned from experience that she must become the guardian of her own heart. I have not earned anything. I am now,however and shall remain consistent. I found her in a place where I never dreamed I would look and where she never dreamed she would be. It is as if the cosmic forces of the One we both know are orchestrating the music to a new song. Not a fly-by -night song that only sounds good when you first hear it, but insteadthe classic that stands the test of time and criticism. I am not certain that anyone can feel me other than the one person who should. I am forevermore capitivated.
Thanks for this Art!!You are a great poet.
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