A trip to Island Garden City of Samal...

On a Saturday afternoon,while the sun was up to the highest degree,we headed(with my aunts)back to Samal Island(my lola's hometown). I was full packed with my most comfortable get-up. First thing we did,we paid a visit at my grandparents graveyard.

When it was night, we stayed and slept-over at my grandparents' house. And this is what I witnessed before we ended that day... ..it's a singing contest held in their barrio...wow!in fairness,ang galing nilang bumirit!!!really, talented individuals!Naloka lang ako sandali sa attire ng mga contestants...yun bang mga makalumang style ng pagsali sa mga ganitong amateur singing contest..na talagang may mga bling-bling na suot at naka-barong at kurbata ang mga contestant. Ayyy naku!i love this experience....matagal na rin akong di nakakapanood ng ganito.If i only memorize a piece and have the nerve to join...baka isa na ako sa mga contestants dyan!hahaha!At may disco pa after the contest ha!kaya lang di na kami naki-join kasi sleepy na syado...

The next morning,we headed to the beach and have a little get together and real fun with the sunny weather......since i had my last vacation during the first week of April at the province i feel like it feels great to travel, relax sometimes...enjoy with my family and relatives. There they are...

(just click all the pics for clear viewing)

****my special thanks to bes lovely for the clear pictures.Thanks bes!;0)


Thank you, God...

Thank you dear God for the gift of life.I have no idea how my mother struggled to have me lived a very healthy baby for nine months in her womb and breathe me out of this world. And I am sorry for all those times when I would hurt her feelings only because I dont need her nagging advice. I am sorry when I was being stubborn and insensitive. Being a mother is not easy.I must know that...and realize even more.

Thank you loving Father for my family and friends. When Jesus was on earth, He must be questioning too being born human who His real families and friends are...because some people in His time were even doubting His motives. And yet, He remained humble and steadfastly believing that You will never leave Him. I wish to practice the same kind of faith esp. when things in life dont turn out the way I want it...and when things hurt.

Thank you God... and that even when there were times when I walked out of your way, you never lose sight of me and have me back into your control. Sometimes I admit that its just too hard to pray.And maybe because most of my petitions are all about me and all my personal cares..when my prayer instead should have been for the helpless. I am sorry when my prayers turned out to be selfish most often.Sometimes I felt so ashamed to have asked for too much from you and yet I give less of me in return. I know you're not expecting too much from me. You simply want be a better person and follower of your words.

Loving Father, help me realize that I must learn to share myself unselfishly to others so that they too will have fullness. And that living is not just simly having three to four meals in a day ,enjoy my hard work earnings, have fun with friends till wee hour and shop till i get satisfied with the latest fashion. But then let me realize that living is what i can give and how much i can give of myself to others so their emptiness will be filled... without counting for something in return. Just as You do.

Thank you for the luxury of this earth that you so freely gave and have us to enjoy though temporarily. Thank you for making me one of your tenants. I hope I have shared even a bit of me to other people. So that my life on earth will have meaning. Dear God, help me realize...that I am here with a purpose. Thank you for the talents and the wisdom that are meant to be shared. I dont just simply exist I know. I am meant to live so that other people will have reason to live too...for "No man is an island".

And so I thank you once again dear God...for the gift of life.Amen.


You belong to me....

To Chris(my student),to my very good friend Gladys (about to leave for US)and to the love that left my way.... i dedicate this song.....

Vonda Shepard-Ally...

You Belong to Me

See the pyramids along the nile
Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle
Just remember that all the while
You belong to me

See the market place in old algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me

I’ll be so lonesome wothout you
Maybe you’ll be lonesome, too
And blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it’s wet with rain
Just remember ’til you’re home again
You belong to me

Maybe you’ll be lonesome, too
And blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it’s wet with rain
Just remember ’til you’re home again
You belong to me

*****"just remember that you guys will always play a very important role in my life..and a space in my heart...i miss you guys!"


A letter and a friend....

I was rummaging my old files when I saw this draft. It's a letter for my best friend back in college that I wrote five years ago exactly the same date today. It feels odd somehow coz even when we were not communicating that often after she got married, I still feel the sincerity of her friendship for me, the same way I want our pact to remain stronger even when we dont see each other as often as we wanted to. She despised marriage before, only because one man in her past left her so broken hearted. Since then she stopped believing in the sacrament of matrimony. But not until she found the man who's ready to fight for her and love her for the rest of her life. Now, my best friend is already six years so happily married. And I am the happiest for her too. This is how my draft goes:

My dearest friend,

When I would sit down and think about how life would be like not just a daughter, a sister and a friend but a wife and a mother, I remember those times when we would argue about being tied in a married life. You even felt awkward talikng bout it. And now, here I am, wanting to hear your story. When all's about new episodes. And you telling me with teary eyes how much these new people( your son and husband) in your life keep you going.

I miss you friend..so much! I know that you have long moved on in your life without missing me in your system. Yet, I still want you to know that knowing you the first time had changed my whole life. Y'know I still would love to believe that our friendship hasn't changed. But then life is forever moving on and letting go. It's not because we dont have a choice..but simply because we choose to. Pls. believe me when I say that you're still a part of me and I dont care if i sound begging. You know how much I still want to be a part of your life. You're not closing your door in fact. I just choose not to knock.

I did not trade you my friend.I've been obscure I know but that doesnt mean I think of you no more. Maybe I'm not just ready to tell you how I am. But this time I wanna make sure that you'll be proud to know that I choose to be happy. Even when I am not this succesful at least I am happy, right? And it's all becuase even from the start, you taught me to. Thank you so much. Godspeed!

Happy Birthday bes! You take care...


****During those times, she's always been the tough one bet. us while I was the weakling...hehehe! I only laugh when I think of those moments...because I cant imagine how much i've grown now to be a very funny and crazy individual...such transition!bwehehehe! Until now we only communicate (via phone and internet) when we get the chance. And I pray that our friendship will stay the same even when we're miles away. I realize that it's not actually the distance...but it's how we keep important people in our heart.


My life in the province...

My two weeks vacation in the province is finally over. And i'm back to the real world. Somehow it was a wonderful experience.A life that is far from the busy world and the buzz of the city... no phone calls, no internet. I wasn't on a vacation for good i know. I was there to make vigil of my grandmother's wake. She died on a day before the Holy week, at the age of 82. Wherever she may be right now, for sure, she's already happy with the rest of our loved ones in heaven.

I've always been a person once very afraid to see a dead person in a coffin. But my nine days vigil on my lola's wake made me the person i wasn't used to. Suddenly,I found myself even wiping dust on my granny's coffin after sometimes on the mornings. And i say, i've conquered my fear. My stay in the province also helped so i can build closeness with my relatives, especially the people I hardly figure out the attitude before. Being observant in a way made me understand that these are the people (my relatives)that i should love and value even more, regardless of how different our views or opinions may be about things...not only because they're my real family and the same blood runs our viens but merely because no matter what...God put us as one family in His love. LOVE like some of us who simply feel so alone might have needed at some point in our life...somehow my life in the province helped me for good. I made recollections (i long needed this..far from being in a state of busyness)...in some of my solitary moments when i would sit down in front of lola's coffin, a lot of things and realization came to me. And that things will have to come to an end...they die..they wither...so that in everyday of our life, we can learn to appreciate and value every circumstance and people who come and will eventually have to go. I realize that the world won't ever stop revolving after every painful experience. Surely, i would miss some of them..i even miss them more when i think of them...the people i care for and hold so dear in my heart...but life doesn't end only because some wonderful connections end.

My life in the province..the pictures and the memories i bring with me as i go back to the city life are the things that add to how i have become and how i will become as a person. And i personally thank "Nanay"(this is how we addressed our grandmother)for all of these.



I was late. No matter how many times i would take a look at my watch, its tiny hands that keep ticking couldn't do any to change the matter. It was already ten in the morning and I was supposed to reach the place at exactly nine. I was on my way then to extend service in the School for the Blind as one of our outreach programs in school.

Upon reaching the place, I searched for the 14-year-old blind girl whom I used to call "Immaculate". She always wears this tidy and innocent look which reminded of the image of the Virgin Mary. She was sitting in one corner. Upon hearing my voice, I was so touched how she recognized me so easily when in fact she only met me once. She spoke gently while offering the seat beside her. I smiled and nodded.And though I knew she was unaware of how i responded, inside of me was the hope that she could feel my sincerity. "Ate, can you make a poem for me?", she asked politely. "Sure!I'd be very glad to!", I replied with excitement.

As we conversed cheerfully, I swear my eyes were fixed at her countenance so intently. I could never detect any trace of loneliness in it. She just seemed so happy and content. I was even surprised to hear her able to narrate her life to me before this institution became her home. A blind girl telling me with such tenacity the tough things she went through without a sound of regret from her voice. The institution has been her home ever since she was a child, that is why she has skillfully mastered doing things sightless with just those remaining senses left in her to create and imagine pictures.

While part of her life came into the open, I asked how she'd handled problems. She simply replied with a smile, "I don't have any problem that's too much for me to bear for when i'm in, I know God is with me.I know He will carry me." I was lost for words upon hearing those lines and ignored how i might bear the shame and made the effort to smile. Once in my life, I know I took God for granted.And so when problems would rally on me, I would end up whining thinking I could hardly deal with them. And then suddenly, there's this 14-year-old blind girl who ironically switched on the light for me. On my way home, I could still hear Immaculate's words. I never thought that that would my greatest realization. "I thought I was the one who saw the light. I was wrong..."