I was rummaging my old files when I saw this draft. It's a letter for my best friend back in college that I wrote five years ago exactly the same date today. It feels odd somehow coz even when we were not communicating that often after she got married, I still feel the sincerity of her friendship for me, the same way I want our pact to remain stronger even when we dont see each other as often as we wanted to. She despised marriage before, only because one man in her past left her so broken hearted. Since then she stopped believing in the sacrament of matrimony. But not until she found the man who's ready to fight for her and love her for the rest of her life. Now, my best friend is already six years so happily married. And I am the happiest for her too. This is how my draft goes:
My dearest friend,
When I would sit down and think about how life would be like not just a daughter, a sister and a friend but a wife and a mother, I remember those times when we would argue about being tied in a married life. You even felt awkward talikng bout it. And now, here I am, wanting to hear your story. When all's about new episodes. And you telling me with teary eyes how much these new people( your son and husband) in your life keep you going.
I miss you friend..so much! I know that you have long moved on in your life without missing me in your system. Yet, I still want you to know that knowing you the first time had changed my whole life. Y'know I still would love to believe that our friendship hasn't changed. But then life is forever moving on and letting go. It's not because we dont have a choice..but simply because we choose to. Pls. believe me when I say that you're still a part of me and I dont care if i sound begging. You know how much I still want to be a part of your life. You're not closing your door in fact. I just choose not to knock.
I did not trade you my friend.I've been obscure I know but that doesnt mean I think of you no more. Maybe I'm not just ready to tell you how I am. But this time I wanna make sure that you'll be proud to know that I choose to be happy. Even when I am not this succesful at least I am happy, right? And it's all becuase even from the start, you taught me to. Thank you so much. Godspeed!
Happy Birthday bes! You take care...
****During those times, she's always been the tough one bet. us while I was the weakling...hehehe! I only laugh when I think of those moments...because I cant imagine how much i've grown now to be a very funny and crazy individual...such transition!bwehehehe! Until now we only communicate (via phone and internet) when we get the chance. And I pray that our friendship will stay the same even when we're miles away. I realize that it's not actually the distance...but it's how we keep important people in our heart.