16.4.07

My life in the province...

My two weeks vacation in the province is finally over. And i'm back to the real world. Somehow it was a wonderful experience.A life that is far from the busy world and the buzz of the city... no phone calls, no internet. I wasn't on a vacation for good i know. I was there to make vigil of my grandmother's wake. She died on a day before the Holy week, at the age of 82. Wherever she may be right now, for sure, she's already happy with the rest of our loved ones in heaven.

I've always been a person once very afraid to see a dead person in a coffin. But my nine days vigil on my lola's wake made me the person i wasn't used to. Suddenly,I found myself even wiping dust on my granny's coffin after sometimes on the mornings. And i say, i've conquered my fear. My stay in the province also helped so i can build closeness with my relatives, especially the people I hardly figure out the attitude before. Being observant in a way made me understand that these are the people (my relatives)that i should love and value even more, regardless of how different our views or opinions may be about things...not only because they're my real family and the same blood runs our viens but merely because no matter what...God put us as one family in His love. LOVE like some of us who simply feel so alone might have needed at some point in our life...somehow my life in the province helped me for good. I made recollections (i long needed this..far from being in a state of busyness)...in some of my solitary moments when i would sit down in front of lola's coffin, a lot of things and realization came to me. And that things will have to come to an end...they die..they wither...so that in everyday of our life, we can learn to appreciate and value every circumstance and people who come and will eventually have to go. I realize that the world won't ever stop revolving after every painful experience. Surely, i would miss some of them..i even miss them more when i think of them...the people i care for and hold so dear in my heart...but life doesn't end only because some wonderful connections end.

My life in the province..the pictures and the memories i bring with me as i go back to the city life are the things that add to how i have become and how i will become as a person. And i personally thank "Nanay"(this is how we addressed our grandmother)for all of these.

8 comments:

Tikey said...

Condolences to You and to ur family my fren. Well surely nasa heaven na sya at isa na sya sa mga anghel na nag wawatch over you..

buti kapa naka relax na, ako dipa, tara nga beach tayu...

miss u fren.... Muahhhhh

Shoshana said...

Ev, my sympathy to you for losing your Lola. I'm like the you you used to be. When my granpa died, I was 16, and still afraid to look at dead body.

Can you imagine the guts it took when I had to disect a real cadaver?

ghee said...

im sorry,Ev.. i thought you were having a blast somewhere...condolences to you and your families..

82 yrs old,she`d lived her life to the fullest na siguro,and its not bad to reach that age.im sure shes in heaven :)ako rin,i have a fear sa coffins,pero nung lola ko ang pinagburol namin,di ko feel yung fear ko,siguro dahil mahal natin sila...

i hope na ka recover ka na,EV!di lang malungkot ang mawalan nang minamahal,nakakapagod din,minsan yun pa ang nagiging dahilan ng pagkakasakit..so be safe always!

lots of hugs to you,mahfrend!!

Anonymous said...

Bes, dami ko ng utang no?
parati akong wala sa tabi in your darkest time.
Manikal pa gyud nga wala nako nabasa ang imong e-mail.
what is the difference between losing a lola and at the same time losing your heart.

Teka? sino naman ang broken hearted Aber?

I find your heart in a diffivult place where in you dont have the opportunity to fight them squarely.
Sabagay lagi namang di natin hawak yung control ng situation... kaya nga pagdating sa investment Bes, hwag masyadong full. Mapera man o maemosyun.... unless risk taker ka.

Shittt oi... nangasaba naman ko nimo dinhi....

Duna noon koy experment tungod anang letter nimo nga painful...

It reminds me of my younger years... I was then so idealistic, hopeless romantic, so sincere pero ano ang nangyari... sinaktan at niloko din...
Ininda ko ng ilang taon ang pain, "langhiya, nagkaskin asthma pa nga ako.... I was in darkness then because yun ang pinili ko at that time, nakalimutan ko na ang dami ko palang choices at panahon na sinayang.... hanep, boldstar na sana ako ngayon... hehehehe
Pero all those pain made me this kind of person now.
Tough.
Tough
and tough. Ayoko ng masaktan ng ganun. ayoko ng piliin na magpakalunod sa pain....
at lalong lalo na na ayokong maging ganun ka rin.

Alam mo Gabrielle, pasalamat ka talaga ke Lord... andami naming nagmamahal ng tunay sayo.... bakit kaya?

Di mo pa man natatagpuan si Mr. Right..... andyan lang yan......
relax lang, pag matibay na yang sikmura sa laban ng buhay na to? Im sure lalantad na rin sya....

Anyway, I have always love your ways of standing up and becoming the best person you can always be.... gamay gamay ra ka bes pero bagtik pud oy... makabilib! pangutan-a pa si Joel.

ay ingun nancy alive daw sya dinhi?
Makasuroy gani sa iya balay?
hehehe

Goodluck Bestfriend!!!!

I will always be there even if wala ako sa tabi mo. Pwede ba yun, huh!!!

ev said...

tk,

i miss you too my fren...thanks sa pagdamay..medyo nakapagrelax din ako kahit papano duon..masaya din kasama ang mga pinsan ko.

ang init ng panahon dito ngayon sa pinas...grabe!!summer talaga...

shan,
thanks..i appreciate your courage..wow, hindi ko na yata kaya yang experience mong yan, ang magdisect?oh my,oh my!hehe!....and i salute you for that..i like your guts and i wish i have more of that too.


ghee,
my lola for sure had lived her life to the fullest...at nakita din naman nya kung paano sya inalagaan ng kanyang mga mahal sa buhay kaya am sure kahit papano napasaya namin sya sa mga huling sandali nya dito.

i am doing well my fren...i already had my quiet and enough time in the province to reflect kaya i am now at ease and relax kahit pressured pa rin sa studies minsan.

you take care too..namiss kita!;0)


bes,
ang haba ng litany mo!hehe!kala ko enough na yung conversation natin kahapon nakupoh!;0)

thanks!i'll take it all from you my fren...

you dont have to explain about the things when you were not here during my lowest point in my life,i am a very open-minded person and so i understand your situation to the highest level...hehe!

i love you my fren..always remember that..no matter what you will always be my very best friend who taught me how to laugh,love, value, and cherish people..you dont owe me any single explanation kung wla ka man sa tabi ko sometimes dahil isipin ko lang someone's thinking and praying and loving me always, alam ko ikaw na yun kaibigan!;0)

for life xena and gabrielle baya ato drama....mga ilusyunada!!hahahaha!;0

Anonymous said...

Mao gyud. Pildihun pa gani ang duha. ngehehe

krystyna said...

Hi Ev!
I'm so sorry! Take my condolences to you and your family.

You experienced new, different Life in the province.
Peace and many, many blessings to you!

Anonymous said...

Kaila ko anang anonymous diha bah... Murag si bruce lee gyud na!!!
That guy always feed my spirit years ago.
Pasimpli-simpli lang yan... pero kwidaw ka.... nyaha!!!
Miss you fren sa tinuod lang!