Four years ago, nakilala ko si Liz thru our neighbor. Nanilbihan sya bilang katulong sa isang mayaman at kilalang pamilya near our village. Madalas ko lang syang makita nuon sa aming lugar dahil dumadalaw sya sa kanyang kaibigan. Isang simple at mapagkumbabang tao si Liz. Hanggang sa nagkaroon ako ng kaunting parte ng buhay niya. Naghahanap pala sya ng tutor upang kahit papano ay matoto syang mag-inggles dahil meron syang penpal na kano.
Nagkakilala kami ni Liz kahit papano nung mga sandaling andyan ako para turuan sya ng mga simpleng dialogue sa pang-araw-araw na pakikipag-usap sa salitang inggles. Hayskul level lamang si Liz sa kanilang probinsya at nakipagsapalaran dito sa Davao dahil sa hirap ng buhay. Nagulat pa ako dahil we really started in our tutoring session from scratch. Mula sa simpleng prepositional phrase hanggang sa naging translator ako minsan sa tuwing gumagawa sya ng reply letter.
Minsan sa aming pagpapalitan ng ideya, hindi namin naiwasang pag-usapan ang kanyang tunay na katayuan sa kanyang pamamasukan. Nakakalungkot na nagtitiis pala sya sa pangit na pag-uugali ng kanyang mga amo. Hindi ko makalimutan na may sandaling, Liz would narrate to me her experience with teary-eyes. Duon ko naitanong sa sarili ko at maging sa Diyos kung paanong hindi pantay ang buhay at katayuan ng bawat nilalang sa mundo.
"I saw injustice seeing Liz in such a sad dilemma". Ang laiitin, maliitin at pagdamotan ng mga taong akala nila'y madadala nila sa hukay ang kanilang kayamanan at tanyag na pangalan. Pagkalipas ng ilang buwan, Liz was petitioned by her fiancee to US and after few months, na-grant naman ang kanyang visa agad. Pagkatapos ng maraming taon, after hearing that she was doing well in the US with her husband dahil pagdating nya duon ay agad silang nagpakasal, lumipas ang ilang taon na wala na akong naging balita sa kanya.
After 4 years, nabalitaan kong nakauwi na pala sya dito sa Pinas. I found out that her American husband died of a cancer. Infact, nag-usap pa kami ni Liz last week sa telepono, balita nya sakin na dala-dala daw nya ang abo ng kanyang yumaong asawa dahil hiling daw nito bago pumanaw na nais nyang dito sya mahimlay sa ating bansa. Liz sadly narrated to me how much her husband wanted the Philippines and how much she also missed him.
Maganda na ang naging katayuan ni Liz. Nakabili sya ng bahay at lupa dito sa Davao para sa kanyang pamilya at nagtayo ng maliit na negosyo para sa mga magulang nya. Bukas ay babalik na muli si Liz ng Amerika dahil naroon ang kanyang trabaho, bilang caregiver sa isang nursing home( for the old-aged) sa Wisconsin. May naiwan ding pamana mula sa kanyang yumaong asawa at itoy ang kanilang bahay at lupa na plano nyang ipagbili sa kanyang pagbabalik dahil ayaw nyang mabuhay mag-isa sa isang malungkot ngunit puno ng alaala ng kanyang asawa sa bahay na iyon.
Life is truly fair! And we all have our own share of luck if we only persevere and remain humble. And God truly lifts the humble.
Si Liz ay isang simpleng halimbawa na sa kabila ng mga pagsubok na kanyang pinagdaanan nuon ay sinong mag-aakala na isang masaya at masaganang buhay pala ang naghihintay para sa kanya. Ito ang huli nyang linya sakin bago naputol ang aming pag-uusap. "Masaya ako sa aking trabaho sa Amerika, sa katunayan, hinahanap na ako ng isang matandang inaalagaan ko duon dahil nagustuhan nya ang aking serbisyo. Mababait sila sakin duon. Sa ngayon, masaya at kuntento ako dahil kahit papano naiahon ko sa kahirapan ang aking mga magulang".
I wish you luck Liz!Keep the fire burning ...dahil sa iyong tagumpay lihim akong nagbubunyi. Salamat kay Chit na iyong asawa!Alam kong isa syang instrumento upang ang mga taong tulad mo na may mabuting kalooban ay marapat pagpapalain ng nasa Itaas.
30.9.06
25.9.06
A reality check...
Yesterday was sunday. And it's a wonderful feeling to be able to fight against the tempting moment of waking up late since it was holiday. And since the church is just a walking distance from home, i managed to get there first thing on a fine sunday morning. There i was, sitting quietly in one corner waiting for the mass to begin. I felt strange actually. I don't know. It's been a long time since I sat there early in the morning. While i searched for familiar faces, i noticed a wheelchair in front of me. Somehow i got curious who was that fellow sitting there, what i only saw was a lady's hair braided so well. The mass started finally so my attention switched on to the ceremony and forgot about my curiosity. The sermon of the priest in connection with the Gospel reading was all about humility and service to others.
Being a catholic since, it has never been an issue to me what relegion brings the good news best/better. There is no relegion that can transform an individual to a christlike attitude than the one already renewed by pure love to God ,no matter how the teachings in one's church goes. Anyway, i felt good singing and responding to the Eucharistic mass and seemed proud to have been given such a chance to worship and praise from my own will. I felt a sense of fulfillness in my spiritual aspect on that day. And being able to sing with the hymns is a plus. But then, when it's time to say "peace" to the people around me, i felt a little discontent coz very few around me responded and showed a welcoming smile. But who am i to judge their motives anyway?
When it was time to receive the holy communion, i mixed myself in a row with my fellow churchgoer. After then, i went back to my chair only to realize that my curiosity about the lady in a wheelchair was answered. I saw her at last. But very far from what i expected and thought to be a woman in her later years. She's in her early teen years! She could hardly move and her head just facing straight while a tube connected on her nose. A sobbering thought crept on me. And then i realize, out of my weird imagination: Just how many of us at that very moment in complete sense, able to walk, dance,sing and worship God and yet busy for something else than being in church for just an hour! " And then here is a young girl, half- paralyzed, giving me a realization that life is really precious. So while still able to go and worship God by myself without a wheelchair or a cane, i've to grab it.
What a realization! But to get a reality check, seeing the young girl, brings such symbolical meaning in one's christian life. And i hope it's not yet too late for everyone of us.
Being a catholic since, it has never been an issue to me what relegion brings the good news best/better. There is no relegion that can transform an individual to a christlike attitude than the one already renewed by pure love to God ,no matter how the teachings in one's church goes. Anyway, i felt good singing and responding to the Eucharistic mass and seemed proud to have been given such a chance to worship and praise from my own will. I felt a sense of fulfillness in my spiritual aspect on that day. And being able to sing with the hymns is a plus. But then, when it's time to say "peace" to the people around me, i felt a little discontent coz very few around me responded and showed a welcoming smile. But who am i to judge their motives anyway?
When it was time to receive the holy communion, i mixed myself in a row with my fellow churchgoer. After then, i went back to my chair only to realize that my curiosity about the lady in a wheelchair was answered. I saw her at last. But very far from what i expected and thought to be a woman in her later years. She's in her early teen years! She could hardly move and her head just facing straight while a tube connected on her nose. A sobbering thought crept on me. And then i realize, out of my weird imagination: Just how many of us at that very moment in complete sense, able to walk, dance,sing and worship God and yet busy for something else than being in church for just an hour! " And then here is a young girl, half- paralyzed, giving me a realization that life is really precious. So while still able to go and worship God by myself without a wheelchair or a cane, i've to grab it.
What a realization! But to get a reality check, seeing the young girl, brings such symbolical meaning in one's christian life. And i hope it's not yet too late for everyone of us.
21.9.06
Stand up for LOve...
There are times I find it hard to sleep at night
We are living through such trouble times
And every child that reaches out
For someone to hold
For one moment
They become my own
And how can I pretend that I don't know
What's going on?
When every second
And every minute
Another soul is gone
And I believe that in my life
I will see
An end to hopelessness
Or giving up
Or suffering
Then we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
And stand up for life
Stand up
And here me sing
Stand up
For love
Im inspired
And hope
For each and everyday
That's how I know that things are going to change
So how can I pretend that I don't know
What's going on?
When every second
And every minute
Another soul is gone
And I believe that in my life
I will see
An end to hopelessness
Or giving up
Or suffering
If we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
And stand up for life
Stand up
For love
And it all starts right here
And it starts right now
One person stand up man!
And the rest will follow
From the forgotten
And From the Unloved
Im gonna sing this song,
And I believe
That in my life
I will see
An end to hopelessness
Or giving up
Or suffering
If we all stand together this one time
Then no one will get left behind
And stand up
for life
stand up
and sing
Stand up
For love
15.9.06
what makes the world go round....
what is life without LOVE.....mmm...
..much more to say...we define love differently.
13.9.06
Kumusta KA na?
Medyo ang tagal na nating di nagkausap ah!Yung masinsinan.
Masyado akong immersed sa daily routine ko...
Kahapon,di kita masyadong napansin...late kasi ako nagising.
Nagmamadali na ko papuntang trabaho.
Ayoko kasing mahuli... importante sakin yun.
Pagdating ko sa trabaho, nakalimutan ko basahin mga payo mo.
Masyado kasi akong preoccupied kung paano ko paaandarin utak ko....
..kasi long test ng mga bata nitong buong linggo.
Masyado ako na-busy sa kagagawa ng reviewers ...
...at kahahanap ng facts para sa lesson nila.
Late na kami natapos.
Ayoko kasi na matapos na lang ang session na parang wala pa rin sa focus ang mga bata.
Exhausted ako masyado pag-uwi ko.
Parang nilamon lahat ng lakas ko while i was dealing with my patience.
Pagdating ng weekend, tiyak magmamadali na naman ako nito.
Huli na naman gising ko pagdating ng linggo..
kasi puyat pa mula sa klase nang sabado...
..kaya kelangan ko bumawi ng mahabang tulog.
Lagi na lang akong nagpaplano...
... na magkita at mag-usap tayo nang linggo kinaumagahan.
Pero tinatamad pa rin akong gumising ng napakaaga...
lalo na 'pag walang pasok.
Pero kagabi...habang nakaupo ako sa isang sulok...
..naalala kita...hindi ko napansin..naluha ako.
Wala naman akong mabigat na problema..
..pero bakit ang bigat sa dibdib nang marealized ko
..na bakit lagi Ka huli sa buhay ko!
Pero andyan Ka pa rin!Di Ka pa rin sumusuko sa'kin.
Pasensya Ka na ha?
Araw-araw naman ipinagpasalamat ko kung ano na-eenjoy ko.
Pero pakiramdam ko kulang pa rin...
Kasi nga minsan nakakalimutan Kita.
Susuko Ka rin ba sakin balang araw?
Katulad ng mga taong mahalaga sakin ngunit nasa malayo?
Huwag naman sana!
Baka hindi ko na kayanin....
Sige Papa Jesus...bukas uli...usap tayo katulad kagabi.
Masyado akong immersed sa daily routine ko...
Kahapon,di kita masyadong napansin...late kasi ako nagising.
Nagmamadali na ko papuntang trabaho.
Ayoko kasing mahuli... importante sakin yun.
Pagdating ko sa trabaho, nakalimutan ko basahin mga payo mo.
Masyado kasi akong preoccupied kung paano ko paaandarin utak ko....
..kasi long test ng mga bata nitong buong linggo.
Masyado ako na-busy sa kagagawa ng reviewers ...
...at kahahanap ng facts para sa lesson nila.
Late na kami natapos.
Ayoko kasi na matapos na lang ang session na parang wala pa rin sa focus ang mga bata.
Exhausted ako masyado pag-uwi ko.
Parang nilamon lahat ng lakas ko while i was dealing with my patience.
Pagdating ng weekend, tiyak magmamadali na naman ako nito.
Huli na naman gising ko pagdating ng linggo..
kasi puyat pa mula sa klase nang sabado...
..kaya kelangan ko bumawi ng mahabang tulog.
Lagi na lang akong nagpaplano...
... na magkita at mag-usap tayo nang linggo kinaumagahan.
Pero tinatamad pa rin akong gumising ng napakaaga...
lalo na 'pag walang pasok.
Pero kagabi...habang nakaupo ako sa isang sulok...
..naalala kita...hindi ko napansin..naluha ako.
Wala naman akong mabigat na problema..
..pero bakit ang bigat sa dibdib nang marealized ko
..na bakit lagi Ka huli sa buhay ko!
Pero andyan Ka pa rin!Di Ka pa rin sumusuko sa'kin.
Pasensya Ka na ha?
Araw-araw naman ipinagpasalamat ko kung ano na-eenjoy ko.
Pero pakiramdam ko kulang pa rin...
Kasi nga minsan nakakalimutan Kita.
Susuko Ka rin ba sakin balang araw?
Katulad ng mga taong mahalaga sakin ngunit nasa malayo?
Huwag naman sana!
Baka hindi ko na kayanin....
Sige Papa Jesus...bukas uli...usap tayo katulad kagabi.
1.9.06
Dear Alex,
Kumusta ka na? It's been quite long years na wala ka. Namiss kita. You came into my dream the other night. Tumaba ka...yet you still wear the same smile...with your cute dimples. You haven't changed. You're still as good-looking as ever. I was a bit surprised when i saw you in my dream, it happened to me very seldom. Little did i realize that your birthday is approaching. Nagpapaalala ka pala. Of course you are always in my heart!
It's your birthday today. I know you have a grand celebration there...more than we know. Medyo tanda ka na rin pala but i'm sure you still possess that same handsome look that every girls would have giggled. Have i told you before that "i love you"? Oh no, we're not that vocal..we're not that type of people. Oh, kumusta na buhay diyan? I know you're happy. Namimiss na kita. Ilan birthdays na rin ang lumipas. I wonder what have you been doing lately. I miss the way you would pinch my nose. Some say, i look like you. Naks!flattered naman ako..ang gwapo mo kaya...does it mean that i'm also pretty?hahaha! No, we just have the same nose shape and eyes. Hindi naman kaya ako mukhang lalaki ano! Hayyy, nakakainis! Why do i miss you just now..."only when i can no longer hold you".
Sometimes when i would look at the stars at night...how i wish that you're one of them. So that somehow i could feel signs of you. You know each time i would hug and kiss your three lovely kids...i sometimes feel a sense of hope...hoping you're here..oh how they copy your countenance! Their eyes, nose, eyebrows, lips, dimples, colors and mannerisms are just exactly like yours. Kaya lalong nakakamiss ang original. I love the kids so much! They're half my life. Siguro babatokan mo ako with all that i'm saying here now...kasi you know that i won't get to say these things naman talaga if you're here. I know i've been unfair. Ok..and i'm guilty of that.
Oh,pa'no...i do not have anything to offer you in your birthday talaga...i don't have any material things that you'd be proud to know i own...except for the things abstract like my undying love to the people you love and left behind. And of course with my prayer. I miss you so much... I still get to cry each time i remember you. You never even gave me the idea that the last time i set my eyes on you would be final. Please be the kids' angel.
Happy Birthday Bro! Give my regards to my God there in heaven.
Your little sister,
Evelyn
It's your birthday today. I know you have a grand celebration there...more than we know. Medyo tanda ka na rin pala but i'm sure you still possess that same handsome look that every girls would have giggled. Have i told you before that "i love you"? Oh no, we're not that vocal..we're not that type of people. Oh, kumusta na buhay diyan? I know you're happy. Namimiss na kita. Ilan birthdays na rin ang lumipas. I wonder what have you been doing lately. I miss the way you would pinch my nose. Some say, i look like you. Naks!flattered naman ako..ang gwapo mo kaya...does it mean that i'm also pretty?hahaha! No, we just have the same nose shape and eyes. Hindi naman kaya ako mukhang lalaki ano! Hayyy, nakakainis! Why do i miss you just now..."only when i can no longer hold you".
Sometimes when i would look at the stars at night...how i wish that you're one of them. So that somehow i could feel signs of you. You know each time i would hug and kiss your three lovely kids...i sometimes feel a sense of hope...hoping you're here..oh how they copy your countenance! Their eyes, nose, eyebrows, lips, dimples, colors and mannerisms are just exactly like yours. Kaya lalong nakakamiss ang original. I love the kids so much! They're half my life. Siguro babatokan mo ako with all that i'm saying here now...kasi you know that i won't get to say these things naman talaga if you're here. I know i've been unfair. Ok..and i'm guilty of that.
Oh,pa'no...i do not have anything to offer you in your birthday talaga...i don't have any material things that you'd be proud to know i own...except for the things abstract like my undying love to the people you love and left behind. And of course with my prayer. I miss you so much... I still get to cry each time i remember you. You never even gave me the idea that the last time i set my eyes on you would be final. Please be the kids' angel.
Happy Birthday Bro! Give my regards to my God there in heaven.
Your little sister,
Evelyn
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