the choice

For quite a while there are more important things to attend to than go blogging and have my mind fly freely like the old times here. Well this time..I'll try. I'll try to free my mind from the old self-contained me..thinking which is way better and is fair. When I start to talk about my feelings, I know I couldn't help from being biased. But it seems to me that I now feel the need to topple down whatever mixed emotions I have and just let live and be free.

Now, as I read and still try to digest Vickie Gill's "The Eleven Commandment of Good Teaching", I couldn't help give a thought of it and ask myself, " Do I really choose the right career path for me?". At times, it's making me feel so guilty to have started to ask myself about my choices in life and doubt if whether I follow the right trail or just like any one else, also lost in a forest because I don't give much attention to little pathways and choose to wander around instead.
I only hope not. If so, it would then be tough to realize what I have manifested for being in charge of more than 30 students in a classroom when all of a sudden, someone yells and cries because one of my boys and girls are into a fight in my morning class. Or a struggle to deal another set of 40 students ,all with poor academic performances, in my afternoon class.These are the challenges that educators face everyday, both mentally and emotionally, yes, we have to be always in control. I say, " More patience, self!"lol!

And so I told myself, Gill's book will be a big help for a beginner like me. A beginner. Why does it seems like, I am always starting and have never moved on? Do I follow the wrong trail again? No. I always tell myself. As an educator, I must always have cravings for learning. There has to be an empty space in order for me to fill in sets of new ones. Just as Gill said, " I must be my own quality control". I must brace myself each day. Brace myself because I want to be happy and affect the same happiness to my learners. Well then, so much so that in life, there is actually so much that we can give to affect at least--one or two souls.

"You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give."~
Khalil Gibran

Just blog like the old times. Thanks for reading!:)


Nance said...

You made me think, Ev...very good points!
On a side note, where would we be without an educator like you? Pls keep doing what you are now doing, kids need teachers like you!

kulas said...

It is not unusual to ask yourself which path is right for you. You will know, if you are on the right track soon enough. The trick is to recognize and heed your inner voice when the time comes.

In the mean time, don't worry about it. Enjoy your students.

How long have you been teaching, if I may ask?

Good Luck!

lheeanne said...

Teacher teacher... musta?